Perfection
by Bridgette Paris
Summary: Cameron Morgan has always been treated and seen as the definition of perfection, but she isn't. She has always had the best of things; money, a seeminly awesome mother, and a boyfriend who appears as the best thing a girl can have. However in Cammie's life nothing is as it seems, because nobody is perfect.
1. Chapter One

** "**Sometimes _perfection_ can be the _perfect hell_.**"**

-Unknown

**Chapter One:**

I focused on the image in the mirror. I have been, for about ten minutes or so.

My dark brown hair was now in long, peerless spirals, my bangs were pushed back with a thin silver headband. I was clothed in a pair of overly expensive jeans with an even more overly expensive long sleeved blouse, silky and a creamy pink color. Also, to top it off, my feet were currently in a pair of painful Chanel heels with a white and gold Dior clutch in my hand.

My makeup was exceptionally done, my face looked flawless and soft. I moved in closer to the mirror, checking a second time to make sure my mascara and eyeliner were not smeared or too thick before I covered them with a pair of Fendi sunglasses, which cost close to four hundred dollars.

Over all, I looked decent. I thought I looked presentable, but really, how I thought I appeared didn't matter. I needed to be 'approved' before I left the house. My mother is the one with the final say, so I would spend about an hour and a half preparing and prepping myself. I needed to reach her expectations, I couldn't fail her. Not after all she's been through.

"Cameron, darling!" My mother's voice echoed throughout our new home, "You have to leave in precisely two minutes! You cannot be late to your new school!"

"I know, I'll be down in a second!" I responded, my eyes skimming my image, still checking for any flaws or blemishes.

But that's when I noticed I was wearing a necklace, but not just any necklace. The necklace my dad gave me before he pasted. It was a small silver chain with a tiny jeweled heart.

I gingerly unclasped the hook, and placed it carefully in my desk drawer then locked it. I would wear it everyday if I could, but my mother would freak. After he pasted, she disposed or hid anything and everything that was his or reminded her of him.

"Well hurry up, Cameron! Its a new school, you have a reputation to maintain! And what would they think if you showed up late?" She shouted again as her voice reverberated.

With that being said, I took one final glance at my reflection before grabbing my book bag and going as fast as I could manage with heels on down the stairs, "Okay I'm coming!"

Once I made it downstairs, I saw my mother in the kitchen, slowly pacing back and forward by the window. She was talking to someone on the phone, laughing and cheerfully speaking, but I knew it was all an act.

I quickly grabbed my car keys from the little key holder, I softened my steps and tried to make a run for the door without her noticing.

However, I didn't get too far. Before my hand could grab the cold metal door handle, she appeared from the kitchen, her phone still clutched in her hand.

She held up one of her long fingers and whispered, "Wait."

She told whoever she was talking to that she'd be right back and she pressed the 'hold' button, still a distance away, simply observing me.

I could feel her eyes studying me, slowly and surely. Her eyes trailed up and down my body, leaving the sensation of being on fire when her eyes flickered from one spot to the other.

She checked to make sure everything met to her expectations. I was used to it, she did it almost everyday and every time she did I felt alone and trapped in a way. But what I felt most was ugly and disgraceful as I waited for her to point out my flaws. I already know my flaws, but she felt a need to always remind me. Always point them out again and again, to the point where they were all I could see in the mirror.

Her eyes were wide as her hand pulled my hand band out from my hair, "What is this, a two dollar shiny piece of plastic from Walmart? Do you want to represent our family as poor?"

I went to respond, to just tell her I was sorry, but she interfered, "I know that this is your first time going to a public school, darling. And I know that it is nothing like the preparatory schools that you usually go to, but that does not mean you get to lower your standards! What would our friends think if they saw you like this?"

My mouth opened to reply but she held her hand out and shook her head as she continued with annoyance in her voice, "Never mind. Just go. We will finish this discussion when I get home tonight."

She then clicked the 'talk' button on her phone and continued talking to the person. Happiness filled throughout her voice as she spoke, but I knew it was fake.

She never was happy. Even the word 'happy' was a joke to her. Both words 'happy' and 'fun' were simply 'childish' words to her. Why would she try to be happy when she could act? Acting, being charismatic as well as being convincing was apart of her job. She used to have a different persona for her personal life and job life; until they started to mix together and soon one took over the other.

As I turned to leave, I noticed the picture of my mother and I in Japan about three years ago when I was thirteen. She had her arm wrapped around me and I had a huge smile across my face; but my smile was as fake as my mother's happiness and laughter.

I ripped my gaze away from the picture. I hurried out the door and to my car, hopping to make it to school on time.

Once my car pulled up to the school, I saw that the parking lot was very cramped, and teenagers where everywhere. Some where sitting on the cars, some where standing on the grass and anywhere else. The prep schools were nothing like this, and I kind of liked it. I also liked not having to wear the uniforms, because they looked good on no one, and especially not me.

I finally found a spot next to the end, and once I parked, I locked the car and began speed walking towards the school.

I couldn't help but to feel nervous. My mind kept swirling with assumptions. What if they thought I was some spoiled brat? Most of them were wearing simple T-shirts and jeans with Nike shoes or ripped jeans and Converses. Then there's me; my whole outfit probably costing more than a thousand dollars alone.

My thoughts got cut off, I was taken by surprise as something hard and fast plowed me onto the pavement, embarrassingly hitting my head slightly as I did. I could feel my right ankle stinging from me twisting my leg awkwardly as I fell down in these stupid heels.

"Shit!" A voice stated, as a strong hand grabbed my arm and pulled me up as my hand went straight to where my head hit the concrete.

I could feel my leg wobbling a bit. Putting more pressure on my ankle hurt a bit, but I've been wearing heels since I was twelve. I've sprained my ankle a few times before from tripping in heels, got a few scraps and bruises from falling in them too.

I was taught never to show pain; one of the wise things my mother felt the need to tell me when I was, in fact, enduring pain, or if she drank too much wine and was on another drunken rant or rage.

One night, when I was about fourteen, my mother and I were invited to some fundraiser for some new program for researching cures for cancer, I believe. Everyone there was either old or new money, either very happy to be there or not happy to be there, (me being not happy, of course). One thing they all had in common was that they all had money and all could care less about the cures or even those suffering with the disease. It was just a publicity stunt, to try and act concerned and wanting to help oh so bad.

My feet were all ready blistered and sore from not only being in heels for hours, but from currently falling for about the fifth time. I was young; I complained, politely nevertheless. I was limping and my ankle was swelled up, but my mother didn't care.

With one more plea to go home she lashed; _"Part of being a women is being able to conduct yourself while suffering; emotionally or physically!"_ My mother whispered in my ear fiercely, squeezing my wrist in anger under the table. _"If you, for christ sake, cannot even manage to walk in five inch heels how will you withstand other feminine obstacles! Child birth, for instance! Stop acting so pathetic and grow up."_

From that moment on, you'd never hear me complain about something as silly as pain again.

"Hello?" I snapped out of my thoughts, realizing the boy was squeezing my shoulder and slightly shaking me, "Are you okay? Can you hear me?"

"_Yes_." I hissed, trying to ignore the stinging as I looked up at the boy as his eyes filled with concern and his hand stayed on my shoulders. "I can hear you fine."

His hand slowly slid off of my shoulder, and he dragged it through his dark hair, probably relieved to know I wasn't deaf or hallucinating.

"Look, I'm sorry, I was trying to...avoid something and I wasn't paying attention-" He then stopped mid-sentence, he lowered his voice, "Are you sure you're okay? I can take you to the nur-"

"I'm fine." I noticed that no one was outside anymore, and I had no more time to waste with this. I dusted my shirt off with my hand, and grabbed my clutch from the ground. "Now I have to get going."

Before he could say another word I rushed past him and into the school, and right when I did, the bell rung.

"Great." I mumbled to myself, holding my book bag tighter.

Everyone evacuated the hallway, expect for a girl with light blonde hair who was running my way.

I was basically running too as I tired to hurry up and find my locker so I could just get to class already.

The small blonde girl abruptly stopped once she saw me. A grin spread on her face and she lifted one of her tiny hands and waved, making her way towards me.

"Hi! Are you..." Her eyes gazes down at a piece of paper, then quickly back up. "Cameron Morgan?"

I nodded. "Yes but I go by Cammie."

Her smile widened, "Well Cammie, I'm Elizabeth Sutton, but everyone calls me Liz!"

She then grabbed my wrist as her cold fingers pulled me the other way. "Your locker is this way! I'm going to show you where each of your classes are next, and you will easily remember. This schools not that big, so theirs no need to worry."

She pulled me along until she stopped at a locker with the number 119, and then pulled a tiny sheet of paper from her binder and handed to me. "This is your locker combination. Chances are that it will be your birthday, so it will be easy to remember. Your locker is only three away from Macey McHenry, and if you have any locker problems, you can ask her!"

I looked at the sheet and unlocked my locker. "Thank you for doing this, your probably the best thing that has happened to me today."

She slightly laughed, "Your welcome, and it's your first day at a new school, Cammie. Of course it won't be easy, but if you need any help you can just ask me."

She wasn't the best thing that happened to me because it was just the first day of school and things usually never go good on the first days, but because she was actually nice and helpful, like what my mother should be. But she wasn't because I wasn't good enough.

I smiled slightly as I set everything into my locker and grabbed my notebook, and she guided me to my first class as I nervously tugged on my sleeves. I thought about what hid beneath them, about what almost happened at my old school.

From just thinking about what could happen if it did or would get out, I started to feel nausea.

I could not fail my mother. Not again. I know the past is put behind us, in the back of our minds.

But it doesn't always stay there.

"Cammie...?"

My gaze flickered to the right of me, where a worried Liz was standing, staring at me with wide eyes, "Are you sick or something? You look pale..."

I smiled, a big, fake smile as the lie flew smoothly off my tongue. "I'm perfectly fine."

* * * *  
**A/N: As of right now, I'm editing all of the chapters and changing some things as well as editing.**


	2. Chapter Two

Perfection means not perfect actions in a perfect world, but appropriate actions in an imperfect world.

-R.H

**Chapter Two: **

Four classes flew by, and the day was actually going alright for being the first day. The teachers weren't as strict as the ones at my old school, and they even joked around a bit- which made the classes a little more bearable.

I began heading towards lunch after I threw my English book into my locker. I was the slightest bit nervous- and it wasn't because I didn't have anyone to sit by, or because I thought I would look like a loner. I didn't really care at the moment what they thought of me, but the questions that they would ask. Questions were what I dreaded most because questions lead to assumptions and assumptions lead to gossip. The last thing I wanted at the moment was drama, because I had enough drama at my old school before, and especially when the boys from another academy transferred there.

There was always drama at the Gallagher Academy because there were always questions and assumptions. The drama ranged from someone's family and what their 'dark secrets' were, to simply what someone apparently said to someone. I always tried my best to stay out of drama because drama was pointless and never ended good, but sometimes I would get dragged into drama. Only was I dragged into drama because my best friend is DeeDee Olsen, and DeeDee was the drama queen.

DeeDee loved drama, she absolutely craved it. Some say she wanted attention, some say she was just the devil- but both of those were wrong. DeeDee simply loved drama, and there was nothing more to it.

DeeDee and I were best friends since the moment I walked into Gallagher, she was nice and adorable looking- but not if you got onto her bad side. Half of her friends aren't really her friends, their just there to stay safe and have leverage. But what they didn't know was that DeeDee really didn't care if you were her friend or not, she would still do whatever she wanted to you. However DeeDee never backstabbed me or even talked about me, because we are best friends and we knew everything about each other. Well almost everything, because there was a lot she didn't know about me simply because there were some things that people didn't need to know about me, and they never would.

Once I reached the lunchroom my eyes slowly searched over it. It was very small and crowded, as well as very loud. I laugh slightly at the thought of what the professors at Gallagher would do if they saw this.

I slowly walked into the lunchroom as I looked for a table to sit at, but I quickly stopped when I heard someone shouting my name, "Cammie! Cammie, over here!"

I turned around to where I heard my name coming from, and it was no other then Liz. She was waving and had a big smile on her face as she held his brown paper bag in her other hand.

She met me half way and gestured for me to follow her as she stated, "You can sit with us today! Since your new and all, I thought you would want to."

I flashed her a small smile as I responded, "Yes, I would love to."

Her smile got bigger as we soon reached to her table and she gestured to me as she said, "Everyone, this is Cammie. I asked her to sit with us."

Before they could respond she then pointed to each and every one of them as she said their names, "Okay, so that's Macey McHenry, Bex Baxter, Jonas Crosby, Grant Newman, and Zach Goode."

They all either smiled or gave a bleak wave as Liz and I then sat down. Liz reminded me of DeeDee in a way, she was very nice and considerate- but with DeeDee I believed it was more of an act.

I slowly overlooked them all, until I got to Zach; the boy who knocked me over this morning. As well as the boy who was staring at me with a slight smirk outlined on his face as he stated, "Nice to see you again, Cammie."

I replied with a simple grunted, as Grant's head then snapped towards Zach as a big sloppy grin covered his face as he loudly asked, "What happened? Give me the 2-1-1!"

Zach slowly shook his head as he replied quietly, "First off, it's 4-1-1, and nothing like that."

Grant's smile then slowly faded as my eyebrows knitted in concern to what he meant by that.

"What do you mean by 'nothing like that'?" I questioned Zach with great curiosity.

"Nothing." Zach quickly replied as his gaze then returned back to his lunch.

Macey then gave a short laugh as she responded, "He means 'nothing- like sex'."

My mouth slightly dropped as I slightly shouted, "Of course nothing like sex, I don't even know him! And I have a boyfriend!"

Grant then dramatically dropped his fork on the table as he stated, "No, it's not 'nothing like sex', we meant...'nothing like sexual things'."

Jonas started to laugh as he responded, "Grant, that's basically the same thing..."

Zach then harshly glared at Grant as Grant mouthed 'what' to him, as if Grant didn't know what he did wrong.

The table quickly got quiet as everyone sat in silence and picked at their food.

Bex then signed loudly, and after a moment she turned to Grant and stated, "Well you two sure know how to make something awkward, you bloody idiots."

She had a slight British accent as she then questioned before Grant could reply, "So Cammie, who is your boyfriend?"

"His name is Josh Abrams; he was from my old school." I replied as she nodded her head and returned back to her food.

My thoughts then were occupied by Josh, as I thought about the last time I saw him. Which was about a week ago when he helped me pack my things and bring them to my new home, where we got into an argument and he hasn't called me or contacted me in any way. The argument was quite stupid and very pointless; he didn't trust me to be at another school and stay faithful, which got me very mad. So out of anger I told him that if he didn't trust me to end things with me, which it wasn't like he just told me of his opinion- it was worst.

His exact words were 'How would I know that you won't go whoring around with the new boys at your school? You really haven't proven to me that you are faithful.' There also was a lot of screaming and swear words, but it really wasn't anything new or anything that I wanted to remember.

Josh got angry quickly, and he would not think right when he was angry. I accept him however, only because I love him.

"Cammie," My thoughts were then interrupted, and Liz continued with her eyes slightly wide, "Aren't you goanna eat anything?"

"Um, no..." I hesitated. I simply didn't know what to tell her, because the truth wasn't something that would be taken well. "My mother made me eat a huge breakfast, I'm still very full."

She looked convinced and she then stated, "Oh. Well if you get hungry you can have some of my lunch if you want..."

I shook my head aggressively, "No, I'm really fine. But thank you."

"You're welcome." She then sent me a small smile and returned to her food.

"Your very..._proper_, Cammie." Jonas stated as his gaze stayed on his food.

Which was true, at the Gallagher Academy we were taught to be proper and situated at all times. It was considered trashy if we weren't. But they used the words 'disrespectful' and 'shallow'.

"...Thank you?" I responded because I unsure how to respond.

Jonas then gave a quick laugh as he replied, "My point exactly."

...

When the last bell rang everyone flooded into the hallways and towards their lockers, as I did the same.

Once I opened my locker I took all of my books and put them into my back-pack, which once it got onto my back it weighed about a ton. It slightly made my back ache and my shoulders sore, but I did my best and ignored it.

I then slammed my locker and locked it as a voice called out to me, "You know we have no homework on the first day, right?"

I slowly turned around to see Zach standing behind me with his arms cross and a slightly amused look on his face.

"I know." I replied as I tried to manage the back-pack in a better position. "I just wanted to take them home."

Which was a lie, the real reason was because my mother would have a huge fit if I didn't. She would say that I was slacking, and that I was going to get nowhere in life. So it really didn't matter if I had homework or not, I still had to bring every book home.

He didn't look convinced but he didn't say anything about it. He then came towards me and his hands slightly brushed my shoulder as he went to my back-pack and stated, "Here, let me carry them for you."

I didn't have time to reject his offer because his hands then pulled the back-pack off of my back as he quickly threw only one of the straps over his shoulder and it looked like it didn't affect him at all.

"Thanks, Zach..." My words slowly drifted off as I began walking to my car with him right next to me.

He slightly nodded his head and we stayed in silence for a few moments until he broke it, "Look, I want to apologize for knocking you down and for the awkward conversation at lunch."

My eyes looked up from the ground and met his. He had dark green eyes, and I saw real sympathy in them as they peered into mine.

I shrugged, "It's really no big deal, Zach. Knocking me down was an accident, and the other one was...boy-talk."

He slightly laughed as he questioned, "Boy-talk?"

I jokingly rolled my eyes as we then made it to my car and the parking-lot was finally clearing out.

I then unlocked my car and said to Zach as I opened the side door, "Here, I'm going to put it in the backseat."

He then slid the back-pack off of his shoulder and lightly dropped it on the back seat and casually slammed the door.

"Thanks again." I said as he just responded with another head nod, which he seemed to do a lot.

I then opened the driver's door to get in but he then lightly grabbed my arm, "Wait."

His touch sent chills up my arms a little, and it was very strange because Josh would do that to me too.

"Yes?" I questioned as I turned back towards him.

"Let me make it up to you."

My face twisted in curiosity as I asked, "What do you mean?"

His dark eyes met mine again as a slight half smile was on his face- but it wasn't cocky like his smirks earlier today, as he responded, "Let me take you out tomorrow."

I started to shake my head as I responded as low as I could, "Zach, I have a boyfriend."

"As friends." He then leaned up against the car next to mine as he repeated, "Let me take you out tomorrow as friends."

I stood with my hand on the door as I thought about the offer shortly. Josh would freak if he saw me with him, and I knew he would. And I didn't want to do anything that could make him think that I was hooking up with other guys, I wanted to make him finally realize that I really was faithful. And going out with Zach, even if it was just as friends could ruin that, and I really didn't want to take any chances.

"I'm sorry, Zach. But I really can't..." I responded once I finally made the decision.

We stood there in silence for a moment as he then responded, "Its fine. Maybe another time."

He got up from the car and started walking away, but for some reason I stopped him, "Wait!"

He came to an abrupt stop as I continued, "I will, only if we bring someone else with- like Liz."

I think he understood what I was trying to say, that we need to bring someone else so it doesn't seem more than a few friends hanging out. It shouldn't seem like anything more, considering the fact that I don't even know him that well. I was only doing it to make a couple new friends and to get away from home for a while.

He smirked as he replied, "It's a deal."

I watched him walk away for a second as I then got into my car and drove home.

...

Once I got into the front door I slammed it shut and threw my back-pack onto the ground, which landed with a big bang.

I walked into the kitchen as I began going through the fridge looking for a snack, and once I found some low-fat yogurt I slid onto the island stool and grabbed a spoon from the drawer.

At first I just stared at it, unsure if I really wanted to eat it yet. Yes, I didn't eat anything yet today, but I usually wouldn't. I wasn't thin enough, and in order for Josh to be happy I had to be thin. Because Josh didn't go for 'chubby' girls.

My stomach growled louder and louder, and I finally decided just to eat the yogurt.

I unwrapped the lid from the yogurt and began eating it as the strawberry flavor bursted in my mouth.

Moments passed, and I slowly ate my yogurt- until my phone started to vibrate in my jean pocket.

I lightly dropped my spoon on the counter as my other hand went and pulled out the phone from my pocket.

It was Josh, and it had a picture of him and me at the carnival that he took me to on our first date- I remembered everything about that night. The smell, our laughter, the sweet taste of cotton candy- all of it.

I quickly pressed 'accept' and said, "Hi, Josh."

"Hey Cammie, I called because I would like to apologize, our argument was really out of hand. We both said some horrible things, but I am willing to look beyond that. Are you?" Josh responded as his voice flowed clear, as if he was right next to me.

"Josh..." I didn't know how to respond, because he said some horrible things, but I didn't want to start a bigger fight over it. "Of course I am. Let's just forget about it."

For some reason forgiving him felt wrong, but I had to- for the sake of our relationship.

I could tell that he was smiling by just how his voice sounded, "It's already forgotten. So how was your first day at public school? Horrifying?"

The way he said pubic was like it was a joke, like public schools were a disgrace, when they really weren't any worst or better then prep schools.

However I just ignored it, and changed the subject as fast as I could. "It was fine. So what are you up to?"

"Oh you know, the usual. What about you?"

"Eating yogurt, I'm starving." Only, if he knew the meaning was literal. But even if he did, he probably would prefer it that way.

There was a long pause, and after a few moments he replied, "Oh..."

My eyebrows knitted in curiosity as I questioned, "What?"

"Nothing, it's just that...Cammie you know I love you, right?" Josh asked as I heard him release an irritated sign.

"...Yes?" I replied, having a clue where this conversation was going.

"Then you should know that I'm only telling you this because of that; you seem to be eating a lot more lately, and well...I'm interested in the thinner girls, Cam. Not that you aren't, but I don't want you to you know- get bigger."

I didn't respond, I just sat there and let his words sink in.

I then heard another sign as he continued, "Look you're just on the border line, Cammie. And I hope you just think about what I said, because I really have to go. I love you, babe."

Before I could respond he hung up, as I slowly got up and threw my unfinished yogurt into the trash.

...

After moments of staring at myself in the mirror, I then pulled the scale out from under the sink and put it on the cold tile floor of the bathroom.

For a few moments I just paced back and forward, unsure if I really wanted to know my weight- but I then quickly decided to do it.

My feet stepped onto the scale, and it blinked for a few moments until my weight appeared, but I wouldn't look at.

I wasn't sure if I truly wanted to know, because maybe Josh was right and I was getting fatter- and I really didn't want to know that. But it didn't matter because I soon built up the courage, and I looked down and saw that it said 113.

I slide down onto the floor as I just stared at the number, with nothing flowing throughout my head- but I knew exactly what I was about to do next.

I got up and approached the toilet, where I then shoved my finger into my mouth until I started to puke, and I didn't stop until I felt like I was going to pass out.

...

**First off, thank you all for the reviews! I love them so much! **

**Reviews make me want to write, so please continue! **

**Your all amazing (: **


	3. Chapter Three

Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect, it means you have decided to look beyond the imperfections.

-Unknown

**Chapter Three: **

I woke up to the dim sound of my Mother shouting, "Cameron, DeeDee is here!"

Immediately I was confused, because I didn't know that DeeDee was coming. I quickly stretched and rubbed my eyes, then lazily rolled out of bed and as I was heading towards my bedroom door to greet DeeDee. But then I noticed that I was wearing plaid pajamas and a tank-top.

"Crap!" I whispered in fear as my heart started to beat faster. My arms were sleeveless, which means she could see what hid beneath them.

I heard the soft noise of feet lightly stomping up the stairs, and I hurried to my closet to throw on something that would cover my arms.

The footsteps were coming closer, and I heard DeeDee yell, "Cammie, you better not be sleeping still! It's twelve thirty!"

My now slightly sweaty hand gripped the handle of my walk-in closet and I pulled it open as I began scavenging for something that would cover my scars.

I heard my door burst open and my hands gripped the first thing they could reach, and whatever it was I didn't even know, because I was too busy listening to her approaching footsteps as I threw it on over my head and I then began to run out of the closet.

The footsteps stopped as I then heard DeeDee, "...Cammie?"

"Yes?" I asked as I acted as if I didn't hear my Mother say she was here, and that I was occupied with something else. I was standing in the corner of my room, next to my wooden desk that stood about three feet away from my closet.

Her head snapped towards me as a wide smile appeared on her face as she began walking towards me. She had he arms out wide, to give me a hug, as she shouted, "Cammie!"

A smile appeared on my face as well when I started to walk towards her and I soon was embraced in a tight hug. As she hugged me she whispered, "I missed you so, so, so, so much!"

I released a short laugh as I responded, "I missed you too!"

After a few moments we pulled away from each other with the smiles still on our faces, until her smile disappeared once her eyes laid on my chest.

My eyes slowly followed hers down to my chest, and I saw that I was wearing a dull and over-sized hoodie. But that wasn't the problem, the problem was that it was Dillon Johnson- who is DeeDee's ex-boyfriend.

Our eyes slowly met, and she held my gaze for a minute until her now quiet voice questioned, "Why are you wearing his hoodie?"

I hesitated for a moment, as my gaze returned back to the black hoodie that said 'Blackthorne Blue Devils' and under that it said 'Track-2012'. Also on the back it said 'D-man #08', and the only reason she knew it was Dillon's was because DeeDee and I attended his and Josh's first track race with another academy, and I ended up having his hoodie because I was freezing and he gave it to me to wear. I offered it back to him the next day, but he rejected it- probably to keep DeeDee jealous. So I threw it in my closet and never wore it until- well now. Which was a complete accident.

"Um." I felt a slight heat go to my face as I saw her face remain blank, and her light eyes peered into mine. "Well I was absolutely freezing this morning, and I have no other hoodies besides his..."

The lie was horrible, and I knew it. But what else was I suppose to say? That was the first thing that popped into my mind, so I used it.

For a second I thought that she saw through the lie, and I waited for her to say it- but instead she nodded her head and replied, "Oh, well I guess that's...okay."

I sent her an apologetic half smile as I whispered, "I'm sorry, Dee. I just was freezing and I had no other choice."

"No, Cammie it's fine." She gave a short laugh as she walked to my bed and laid down. "I'm totally over it."

When I still attended Gallagher, which was last year, the boys transferred there and DeeDee and I both wanted to claim one of them. Well DeeDee wanted one, and I really didn't care if I had one or not, but she begged me and told me all the great things that came with having a boyfriend; the kissing, snuggling, support, love, etc. I was amazed by that, but it didn't really didn't trill me so much until I met Josh and felt the way I did. And once I got Josh, she decided to go for Dillon, but they only lasted a little more longer then a month. They ended because DeeDee caught him making-out with a Gallagher girl named Tina Walter in his dorm she ended it with him.

She would say that she was over him, but I knew her better. She was lying because she was embarrassed and heartbroken still, she thought Dillon was 'The One'.

I nodded my head and lied, "I know you are."

After a few moments of silence she then questioned, "So how's your new school? Any hotties?"

My shoulders shrugged as I replied, "I don't know, and I really don't care."

Her eyebrows knitted together as she showed a confused look on her face, "What do you mean?"

I laughed slightly at her confused look as I responded like it was obvious- which it was. "DeeDee, I have a boyfriend- Josh. Remember him?"

Of course she remembered him, he was my boyfriend and one of her guy best friends. They lived in Roseville together and were friends long before I even moved there from New York and attended the Gallagher Academy.

She became silent as her eyes slightly widened. I studied her for a moment, with concern flowing through my body. She knew something, and I was determined to find what that was.

"DeeDee, what happened?" I asked as I moved from the corner of my room to my bed and next to her. "You can tell me, Dee. I won't be mad."

The first thing that I expected was that Josh did or said something horrible- part of me wanted to know, but the other part wished that I never got into this conversation.

Her eyes then flickered to mine as she shook her head and replied, "No, Cammie- not what your thinking." Her face was really white as she replied moments later, "I just thought that he said that you two were done...maybe I heard him wrong."

Relief filled throughout me as I released a small chuckle. He didn't do anything wrong, and I was sure of that as I responded, "No, we kind of did when I first moved here a week ago."

"Oh." DeeDee's eyes then returned to the floor as she questioned, "What happened between you two?"

I shrugged again as I answered, "Nothing big. Just an argument that went wrong."

She remained silent again, until a few minutes later she responded, "Well that's good- that your back together."

She then sent me a little smile, but she still looked off- like she still was hiding something.

"DeeDee..." I questioned as I fully turned towards her. "Is their anything else I should know?"

Her gaze quickly came from the ground as she defensively replied, "No? Why would you think that?"

"I don't know, you just seem off today." Which was true, she was acting very strange.

"Nope, I'm perfectly fine." She replied as she jumped up from my bed and started to look around my room.

I watched her cautiously as I answered, "Well, that's good."

She started fiddling with the the rubix cube on my desk as she then added, "Yeah, well Cam I got to get going. I just came by to give you this." She then placed the rubix cube back on my desk and pulled out a little pink envelop that said 'DeeDee's Sweet Sixteen' and handed it to me with a big smile.

I grabbed the envelop and smiled back at her, "I can't wait."

"Me either." She then leaned closer and whispered, "I got my parents to go out of town for the weekend, so I can have a BYOL type of thing- even though I already have liquor there, but why not have more?"

Those who go to prep schools might seem like they were snobby and obedient (which most are), but underneath the cover we were just teenagers who are twice as rebellious and outgoing when there were no professors or parents to impress.

My smile grew bigger as I replied, "Great."

"More like amazing." She then opened her arms for a hug and stated, "Cammie I got to go, I have a lunch date with my parents and the Oliver's."

I got up from the bed and returned the hug as I replied, "That sounds..._fun_."

She lightly chuckled and began heading towards the door, and I watched her until I interrupted, "You sure your okay?"

She stopped as she gripped the handle and responded, "Just fine."

Once she turned around to shut the door she continued, "Goodbye, Cammie."

"Bye, Dee."

When she left I wondered more about how strange she seemed, but the thoughts stopped once I grabbed my iPhone from my bedside table and saw that I had four messages.

I slid the bar to open it and I read that I had two messages from DeeDee, saying that she was going to drop by, and one from a number that I didn't know. The message said 'Hey, we still on for today? Bex and Grant are coming too, so no need for you 2 worry about ur boyfriend.'

_Zach. _

I quickly deleted the text message after I saved his contact, and I responded, 'Sure, what time? & How did you get my number?'

My phone stayed in my hand for a few minutes as I waited for him to reply, but he never did. So I placed my phone back onto the bedside table and ran to my bathroom to take a quick shower and to get ready for our plans.

...

Showers were one of the things I loved most. I loved how cleansed and refreshing they could make me feel, like a fresh start- or a second chance. But I knew their were no such thing as second chances, and I learned that the hard way.

Once I stepped out of the shower I wrapped the bright white towel around me and stepped into my room, only to see my mother standing next to my bed- with my phone in her hands.

"Mother!" I shouted as I ran over to her. "Give me my phone!"

I tired to snatch it from her hands, but she held it up in the air like I was a child.

She held the phone up high with one hand and held up her index finger with the other as she stated, "Actually, this is my phone. I purchased this phone with my own money. Therefore it's mine."

I shook my head as I ignored her response, "I don't care! Just give me the phone back!"

"Who's Zach?" She questioned with a cocked hip as she simply ignored my response like I ignored hers.

My mouth slightly dropped open as I couldn't believe that she was reading my text. Usually she just took my phone to see what apps I downloaded or my internet history. Never once has she looked through my messages- or that was what I thought.

I gripped my towel in anger as I replied through clenched teeth, "A friend I met at school."

She tilted her head as she slid open the phone and tapped on something, and she replied, "'I'll pick you up at four, and that doesn't matter Cammie. What matters is tonight. I'll call you when I get to your house. Bye.'" She then crossed her arms. "Sounds more than a friend to me."

"Well he's not."

She rolled her eyes as she continued with slight anger in her voice, "You have a boyfriend, Cameron. Do you even care about that? Or are you just going to throw yourself at any boy you see?"

"Yes, Mother! I do care!" I shouted defensively as I realized that she basically just called me a slut. "That's why I'm not throwing myself at any boy!"

She continued as if she didn't hear me, or maybe she didn't believe me. "Joshua is a great boy and an excellent part of society. He deserves someone better then you."

She tossed the phone onto the bed as she hurried to get around me. Anger built up in me as I quickly grabbed the phone with my free hand and shouted, "Then why don't you just date him, Rachel?"

I regretted saying that once she stopped and started slowly retreating towards me with anger tinting in her eyes.

Once she got to me she stared at me with her eyes wide and filled with anger as she questioned, "What did you just say?"

My gaze held her eyes for a moment, but I then looked away and whispered, "Nothing."

She stayed still with her eyes still glaring at me, until she unexpectedly took her hand and smacked me straight across my face as she replied, "Never call me Rachel again."

My hand quickly went to my face as I held back the tears that threatened to come as my mother left the room, taking the tense feeling with her.

I sat on my bed and held my face that stung with pain, and several minutes later I texted Zach back saying 'Okay, bye.'

Right after that I walked towards my closet and quickly changed into gray sweatpants and a t-shirt. After that I laid back in bed as I realized that my mother had been right to imply me as a slut and hit me. I deserved it.

...

My eyes slowly fluttered open, and I realized that I had fallen asleep. I jumped up from my bed and looked at the small alarm clock that was placed on my dresser; it was around four o'clock.

I ran my fingers through my hair as I whispered to myself, "Really?"

The iPhone then ringed, and I saw that it was Zach. He texted me; 'Here, I'm at the door.'

I tossed the phone onto my bed as I then ran down the stairs and to the door, and I quickly opened it.

Zach was standing there, with a slight hint of a smile on his face as he greeted me, "Hey, Cammie."

"Hi, come in." I replied as I opened the door wider.

He slowly stepped in as his eyes wondered the house as he stated, "Your house is..._huge_."

I nodded my head and quickly glanced at it as I responded, "I know."

He had a smirk on his face and was about to say something but his eyes quickly widened as he questioned with concern in his voice, "Cammie, what happened to your cheek?" His hand the went up to my face as he lightly brushed it. "Did someone hit you?"

My mouth opened to reply with a lie- but my Mother beat me to it. "Oh heavens no. My Cameron is a clumsy one, as you might notice." Her gaze then turned to me as she had a kind smile on her face. "Isn't that right, darling?"

I held her gaze intensely as I answered, "Of course, mother."

She slightly chuckled as she then nodded towards the stairs and said, "Now go get dressed, Cameron. It is rude and very inappropriate to look like that with a guest." She then turned to Zach. "I apologize greatly for my daughter's actions, Mr...?"

Zach shook his head and replied, "I don't mind at all. I like her no matter what she looks like. And um, Goode. My names Zach."

The difference between Zach and Josh was that Josh would of cared of I looked, he always did. No matter were we where or who we were with- alone or with people.

I then began to head up the stairs as I heard my mother continue to pretend as if she was the greatest thing ever, and like she didn't know who he was and enjoyed his company.

...

About fifteen minutes later I came down from my room and found Zach sitting at the kitchen counter as my Mother was across from him, standing as speaking to him.

I quickly walked into the kitchen so Zach wouldn't have to deal with her anymore. And I loudly questioned, "You ready to go, Zach?"

His head turned away from their conversation and he nodded his head and got up from the stool as he started heading over to me. Once he got closer he replied, "Yeah, I'm ready."

My Mother started to follow as she stated, "I was just about to tell Zachary about Joshua and how he is planning on going to Harvard for college."

The reason she said that was because she believed that I didn't tell Zach about Josh, but I did.

I raised my eyebrows and replied, "Really? Well I'll make sure to tell him all about it once we leave." I turned to Zach and stated, "Let's go."

We began to head towards the door but Zach stopped and said, "It was nice meeting you, Mrs. Morgan."

She shook her head and replied, "Feelings mutual. And it's Miss. Morgan." Before Zach could respond she interfered, "You two have fun, and make sure your back by seven, Cameron."

"I will." I said once Zach and I were outside and we quickly got into his truck.

Zach got into the drivers seat and started the truck and we soon pulled put of the driveway, and began heading to wherever he was taking me.

Silence eloped us for a couple of minutes until I broke it, "Sorry about my Mother, she can be...strange sometimes. Anyways, where are we going?"

He shrugged his shoulders and replied, "No she was fine. Really nice. And were going to Tony's Pizza. Ever been there?"

Only if he knew that she really was the opposite of nice, but he never would. Because I never would tell him.

"No." I answered. "Never been anywhere in this town yet."

He turned to me with a surprised look and asked, "Really?"

I slowly nodded my head, "Yup."

He then turned the wheel, drove onto the side of the road and turned around and began heading the other way with a smirk on his face.

My gaze switched from his smirk to the road as I soon questioned, "Were not going to Tony's Pizza now, are we?"

His smirk widened as he replied, "Nope."

...

**Guess what? **

**Tomorrows my birthday, and usually I'm not so excited for it. Please review! It would totally make me ten times happier! (: **

**WHAT IS TO BE EXPECTED NEXT: **

**Some Zammie, and more about Zach's past. **

**Review what you want to see on the next chapter!**


	4. Chapter Four

Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.

-Marilyn Monroe

**Chapter Four: **

The truck slowly approached a long chain that blocked off some path, and hanging from the chain is a sign that said 'No Trespassing'. The blocked off path was surrounded by a heavily wooded area. It was kind of strange for why we were even here- well actually I had no clue at all for why we were here. Nonetheless, it still felt strange.

Zach casually turned off the engine and he then opened his door but still stayed in the truck as I questioned, "Zach...where are we?"

He didn't look at me when he replied while finally getting out from the truck. "It's...it's hard to explain. But you'll see soon."

I slowly did the same as Zach, and I got out from the truck as I uncertainly followed behind him.

However I soon stopped as Zach was unchaining the chain from the highlighted yellow pole and I weakly asked, "Why are we here, Zach?"

"You'll see, Cammie."

I crossed my arms and stayed in my same spot as I questioned, "Why should I come with you into the woods with you when I barely know you?" I then dramatically threw my hands into the air as something then dawned on me. "For all I know you could be bringing me into the forest to murder me!"

Zach stopped fiddling with the chain and looked up at me as he said with complete seriousness, "Either you come, or you can wait in the truck. I wanted to show you something since you said you never been anywhere in this town yet. But if you want to stay behind, you can."

I didn't answer as I thought about what I should do and watched Zach as he finally got the chain undone.

He threw it to the side and asked, "You coming?"

We stood there staring at each other for a moment, until I finally decided my answer. "Yes."

...

We were about twenty minutes into the path, and I was wearing expensive skinny jeans that had holes in the front, a pair of even more expensive tan boots that went a little over my ankles, (that made everything very hard to walk on since the bottoms had no grips) and a light purple long sleeved sweater, which was DeeDee's, (the buttons took about forever to get together) with a white tank-top under it. Which honestly isn't the type of clothes one should wear hiking. But you see, I didn't know that we were going hiking.

Zach was about a foot in head of me as we were occupied climbing a large hill, as I stepped it made an odd slushing sound since everything was damp, and all around me I heard the swooshing sound of the fall leaves on the trees, as well as the smell of nature.

"Zach," I shouted as I tried my best to continue to hike up the hill. "How much longer?"

I looked up and saw him slightly shrug his shoulders and reply, "Just up the hill, we're almost there."

My mouth opened to respond, but I never got to because I then stepped on a very slippery and hidden rock, and I screeched as I began tumbling down the hill.

I heard Zach shout my name as I was rolling down the hill and I felt the dampness of the ground on me, and I saw leaves and dirt attach to me as I embarrassingly continued to roll down the hill.

I didn't roll all the way down, because I stopped myself before I made it that far. However there were leaves all over in my hair as well as dirt and water all over my jeans and shirt.

Once Zach finally made it to me his eyes were wide with concern as he asked, "Cammie! Are you okay?"

My feet quickly got into action and pulled me up as my cheeks were burning with heat as I pulled the leaves and such from my hair and clothes but I didn't mutter a word, I was too embarrassed.

I felt Zach watching me as I was, and when I was done I stared up at his dark eyes that were peering into mine as more heat rushed to my face.

My gaze went to my sweater and I noticed splotches of what seemed to be dirt all over it as I stated, "You got to be kidding me."

"What? Are you bleeding?" Zach asked in an alarmed tone as his eyes cautiously searched me again.

"No." I replied as I made my annoyance clear. "This sweater is completely ruined, and it's not even mine."

DeeDee was probably going to kill me once she saw her sweater full of stains and the smell of nature all in it. She positively was going to kill me, and I wouldn't expect anything less.

"Cammie, I don't care about the sweater! Are you okay?" His hand then pushed my bangs out of my face as he placed his other hand on my cheek and his eyes searched my head. "Do you feel dizzy or nauseous?"

His soft touch sent light shivers throughout me, and I slowly shook my head in disagreement as I quietly whispered, "No. I'm fine."

He kept his hands in place as his eyes looked deeply into mine. He seemed to be coming closer as my heart began to beat faster as one question flowed throughout my head; is he going to kiss me?

His hand then was removed from my cheek and he brought it up to my head and pulled out another leaf and dropped it to the ground as he pulled away from the stance we were just in.

After he pulled away I felt guilty as I soon realized that if he did go to kiss me, I didn't know wither or not I would stop him- and that was the bad part.

My thoughts were soon interrupted once I heard Zach command, "Cammie, take off your sweater."

My eyebrows then knitted together as I was very concern. I quickly asked, "Why?"

He slightly signed at my stubbornness as he replied, "It's all wet, and you can't wear that. You'll get sick."

"I'm fine." I stated as I began to start walking up the hill again.

Before I could get anywhere he lightly grabbed my wrist and quickly pulled me back as I was quite surprised that he was capable of pulling me back so fast.

"Why don't you want to take it off?" He questioned as his hand released my wrist.

I shrugged my shoulders as I replied, "Because, Zach."

"That doesn't answer my question, Cammie." He fired back as his eyes tried to meet mine again, but I wouldn't make contact with his eyes, I was too afraid that he would see the answer within them.

I signed in frustration as I harshly responded, "I just don't feel like it."

That wasn't the real reason, and he knew it. I just didn't want to risk him seeing the scars, and dealing with the questions after.

His eyes tried to find mine again, but once they couldn't he then pulled his jacket off himself and quickly wrapped it around me, as the jacket smelled just like him.

I didn't object to the jacket because I honestly was cold, and I couldn't afford to get sick since school was just in two days. I couldn't afford to be sick because my Mother wouldn't let me stay home, if I was sick she didn't care because she always had something better to worry about. It was better that she was like that; I wouldn't want to stay home anyways.

My eyes finally met his as I muttered, "Thanks."

Within his eyes I saw curiosity, and I knew that he wouldn't just let this go. Because that would be too easy.

"You're welcome." He then looked back at the hill. "You still want to go?"

I slowly nodded my head, "Sure."

It was true, I did want to go only because I wanted to see what he wanted me to see. I really didn't care that I was full of dirt and was slightly sore from the fall.

He smirked as he replied, "Then let's get going, Jill."

It took me a second to realize what he meant; he was calling me Jill because I fell down the hill.

I actually slightly smiled as I began following after him again.

...

"Are we almost there?" I asked Zach, who was now trailing right next to me to make sure I wouldn't fall again.

He smirked at me as he answered, "For the hundredth time; _yes_."

I shrugged as I defensively replied, "Well I'm sorry for wanting to know where you're taking me."

"Still think I'm planning on killing you?"

I flashed him a doubtful look as I responded, "Maybe."

He released a short laughed as we then stopped talking and all I heard was the sound of our feet sinking into the dirt until Zach stated, "We're here."

He grabbed my wrist and he pulled me up the rest of the hill, which was only about two feet. Where then we approached probably the most beautiful thing I ever saw.

It was a large circle of forest land that had no trees or anything. It also was the only spot where the sun actually reached as everything was brighter.

The area overlooked Occuquan Bay, which made the scene even more beautiful as the sun glistened on the water, and the birds chirping made everything happier.

I was smiling- a real smile. It was gorgeous, probably the best thing I ever saw. I could have just stood there forever watching the sun go down as the nature made everything peaceful.

This was something that I would never forget, and always dream of.

"What do you think?" Zach asked as I noticed his hand was still lightly grasping my wrist- but I didn't care. I liked the heat of his hand on my wrist, it felt right.

My eyes didn't leave the alluring as well as magnificent scene as I answered, "It's..._beautiful_."

I saw him nod his head as he responded, "It is."

After remembering every detail of everything that I was witnessing, I looked at him and asked, "How did you find this place?"

He looked unsure wither he wanted to answer or not. He looked at the ground for a moment until he finally replied, "My dad used to hike with me every weekend, and one time we found this spot."

I watched him as his once happy face turn to stone. His face was just emotionless, but that propelled me to softly question, "He doesn't anymore?"

He slightly shook his head as his emotionless face quickly turned to something else that I really couldn't tell. "No. He left my mom a couple years ago, when I was eleven."

I tried to get his gaze, but he wouldn't look. The first thing I was about to say was sorry, but I knew how much I hated people's pity when my father died. I hated all the attention, the fake concern, the sorrow- but my mother loved it. She didn't even look like she cared for anything but the attention.

"My father died when I was seven." When the words left my mouth, I had no clue why I even said them at all. No one but DeeDee, Josh, and our few family friends in New York knew about his death. I didn't tell people because they would treat me different- like I was glass and if you treated me too harshly, that I would simply break into thousands of pieces.

His eyes finally looked at me, and I saw anger and pity mixed together- as well as pain as he then questioned, "How?"

My eyes were nothing like his eyes, because my eyes showed nothing about my father. It wasn't because I felt nothing for my father's death, but I didn't know how to show it. I was taught to hide my feelings and to act happy, because problems were too overrated as my mother would say. She didn't like problems because problems made our family seem weak, so she made it seem like we were perfectly fine- but I wasn't.

"Car accident. He was driving home from work and crashed into a semi-truck." I replied as my shoe lightly kicked the soft dirt around.

After a few moments Zach replied, "I'm sorry, Cammie. For what happened to your dad."

I ignored his response and stated, "I'm sorry that your father left."

Zach simply shrugged his shoulder and responded, "I'm not."

"How come?"

At first he seemed like he was going to ignore my question, as he opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. Until he finally answered, "He was cheating on my mom. He had a whole other family just waiting for him a couple hours away."

I didn't know what to say, I didn't know how to comfort him, but I did know how he felt. Like he was betrayed, abandoned, and most of all broken. There was nothing more that I wanted to do at the moment then help fix him, but I couldn't. I couldn't because I needed to know the pieces before I could put them back together.

"How is your mother happier without him, too?" I questioned, not fully knowing if I should of or not.

"Can't say."

My eyebrows knitted in curiosity as I asked, "What do you mean?"

He looked lost in the beauty of our surroundings as he plainly stated with no emotion within his voice, "I haven't seen my mom in years."

Before I could respond he quickly interfered and stated, "We should get going, we shouldn't keep Bex and Grant waiting any longer."

His hand pulled away from my wrist, and I honestly forgot that it was even there. And when he did, I felt as if I was seen...like I was understood- and that was something I couldn't explain, but I liked it.

I took one last look at the beautiful scene until I then turned away and began to follow Zach back to the truck.

...

Once we got to Tony's Pizza Zach and I still remained silent, we hadn't said a word to each other since we left the woods. Zach seemed like he didn't want to talk anymore, and that was alright with me.

The first thing I saw was Bex and Grant sitting next to each other at a booth as they were laughing hysterically, and once Zach saw them and returned to reality he slightly smiled and turned to me, "You ready?"

I nodded my head and followed him to the booth. Tony's Pizza was a small pizza joint, with the original Italy colors and paintings. I always wanted to go to Rome one day, and my father knew that so he promised once I graduated school he would take me there, but I knew that would now never be able to happen. He was gone, and so was my need to see Rome.

When we made it to the booth Zach motioned for me to sit in the inside of the booth straight across from Bex, as he sat straight across from Grant.

"Zach!" Grant shouted once he saw us. "Where the hell have you and Cammie been? We've been waiting here for an hour!"

Zach just shrugged and replied, "My truck wasn't working again."

I stared at him as I was confused to why he didn't just tell them that he wanted to show me the view of Occuquan Bay, but I guess something's are better left unknown to some- but that didn't mean I wasn't going to question him about it.

"Yeah, your truck sucks ass, dude." Grant replied after he started taking big gulps from his drink.

Zach smirked as he responded, "I know."

"Anyways." Bex started as she then turned from their conversation to me. "The waiter came over here like twenty times because she thought we were just here because of the heat, but I had to explain to her and the manager guy that we were waiting for a few friends."

"And of course he didn't believe us so he made us buy something or get out." She then lifted up her drink. "So here we are, on our fifth refill."

I slightly laughed and replied, "Sorry we took long, but you know- Zach's truck problems."

I then looked at Zach and he stared back for a slit second as the waiter then came to us with a fake smile on her face and fake joy in her voice as she asked, "Hi everyone! Can I take your orders?"

We all just got a large pizza that was half cheese and half sausage because Bex wanted sausage and Grant wanted cheese, which they argued about for ten minutes.

The pizza came about fifteen minutes later, as the waiter put it on the table and everyone's hands hurried to it.

I grabbed one slice of pizza and I slowly worked on it as everyone had more then two by then.

Bex pointed to my plate once I was finished and questioned, "Aren't you goanna have anymore?"

"Oh- no." I hesitated as I then quickly added, "My mother is making a big dinner tonight and she always makes me eat it, so I don't want to be full."

In the corner of my eyes I saw Zach turn and look at me with an odd look on his face, and after moments of staring at me he stated, "You should just eat some more, Cammie."

"No, really- I'm fine." I replied as I started to nervously tap my tums on the booth seat.

Zach's hand then reached towards the pizza and grabbed another slice and dropped it on my plate. "Eat."

His eyes were staring at me as if they were waiting for me to object it, but I didn't- because they knew he would win.

So I looked at the pizza and slowly began eating it as my stomach soon stopped growling.

I realized that Josh would never have made me eat more like that, but that was okay. Because he was right- I was getting bigger. And the pizza was going to come up later, so it didn't matter.

...

Once I was done eating the pizza we all decided to leave, and we watched them get into Grant's car and pull away with waves in our direction as we hopped into Zach's truck.

Zach started the truck and began pulling out of Tony's Pizza as I stated, "Why did you lie to them?"

"Why did you?"

My eyes knitted in curiosity as I questioned as I honestly was very confused, "What are you talking about?"

"You said your mom was making a big dinner tonight." Zach then looked at me and continued. "But before we left your house she told me that she was leaving in an hour and wouldn't be back until six in the morning."

My mouth trembled a little as I sat there dumbfounded, and at the moment I had nothing to say.

He tried to catch my gaze but I just stared out the window as my face was very heated and my heart was pounding in my ears. He knew I lied, and the worst part was that I didn't have an excuse this time.

He didn't just let it go like I silently prayed for him to do and for me to try and forget that Tony's ever happened, but he still pressed on. "Why did you lie, Cammie?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you, Zach." I was caught and I knew it, but that didn't mean I had to let my guard down.

"Just tell me that you're not..." He then stared at the road for a moment as I waited for him to continue, but I hoped he wouldn't. "Just tell me you're not starving yourself, Cammie."

I started shaking my head aggressively as I laughed shortly with no humor in it, "No Zach, I'm not starving myself. Why would you even say that?"

We were pulling into my driveway now as he continued, "Stop lying, Cammie. You really don't need to harm-"

I interfered before he could finish, "Thanks, Zach. I had a great time."

I then opened the truck door as he shouted, "Cammie- wait."

"No, Zach." However I did stop, but I looked at him with pleading eyes for him to drop it. "Just stop. I'm perfectly fine."

He opened his mouth to say something but I interrupted again, "I'll see you Monday, Zach. Bye."

I then slammed the truck door as I ran up to my house, opened the door, and quickly got in and locked it.

I ran to the window and saw Zach's headlights shine bright as he just sat there, like he was debating with himself wither or not he should just leave or try and get me.

But he wouldn't have been able to get me, and he knew that as he then started to pull out of my driveway ten minutes later and I watched him silently do so.

Once he finally left I then released a sign and tiredly walked over to the living room, where I soon fell asleep with the fear of facing Zach on Monday.

...

**Thank you all so much for the reviews and the happy birthdays! I had a pretty great birthday, and you guys made it ten times better!**

**I appreciate all of your reviews SO much! I love reading them! **

**I tired giving you all what you wanted, and I hope I accomplished that! **

**You all are absolutely outstanding, and I admire you all and appreciate your reviews so much! They keep me writing and smiling so please keep it up! **

**WHAT IS TO EXPECT NEXT:**

**Drama, Josh, more past, and more questions (: **

**WHAT WILL COME:**

**Answers to DeeDee's current strange ways, DeeDee's party, School Dance, and the truth about the scars. **


	5. Chapter Five

Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect.

-Seventeen

**Chapter Five:**

Sleep was something I admired. I absolutely loved sleep. Because sleeping was something that allowed me not to care- to actually relax and ignore all the pressure. This was the thing I needed; not to care. I needed to be senseless, and to not let people's words affect me for a while. But that awhile only happened in my sleep.

My eyes slowly fluttered open, and I realized that I was actually very comfortable laying down on the leather couch as I stared up to the ceiling to watch the fan go around. Not letting a thing in the world bother me for a few moments.

If I could call consider that moment peaceful, I would- because it was. Well was until I heard the front door slam shut and a certain boy shout, "Cammie, Babe, you here?"

That's when I jolted up from the couch as I peered into the open hallway that led from the front door to the living room, only to see Josh standing there and about to go up the stairs.

"Josh, I'm in the living room!" I shouted back to him as I began to walk over to him. But then I realized something.

I realized that I was still wearing Zach's jacket.

I heard Josh's footsteps not even more than five feet away, but that didn't give me any reason not to panic and hurry up to get Zach's jacket off of me and shove it underneath the couch.

Sure, underneath the couch wasn't the best place to hide his jacket. But I rather take the risk of him finding it under the couch (which what are the chances of that happening? Very low) then him walking in on me sleeping with some other boy's jacket. Which chances of him not noticing were even lower.

So I did what any girl whose boyfriend thought she was unfaithful would do; I hid the suspicious object (Zach's jacket) and sat on the side of the couch with a wide and casual smile across my face.

I then looked down and saw my bare arms, which then I actually went to put Zach's jacket back on. But then I saw DeeDee's sweater that was now dry and right on the couch where I was sleeping, so I quickly threw that over my head.

Once Josh saw me a smile lightened up his face to as he spoke, "Sorry, Cam. I didn't know you were still sleeping." He then checked me out. As his gaze looked up me, then down. "You went to sleep in that?"

I quickly looked down on my outfit and saw that I was wearing the same thing I was wearing yesterday. Which seemed odd to Josh, but to me it was casual. I would lay down on the closet bed or couch when I got tired, and I would fall asleep. But Josh obviously didn't know that about me.

"Yeah, I fell asleep while watching TV. Guess I was really tired." I lied as I then got up from the side of the couch and made my way over to him. "And no, it's fine. A little warning would have been nice though."

"Well I wasn't planning on coming here." He replied as he wrapped his arms around me. "But I thought why not. I haven't seen my girlfriend in weeks, and I really missed her."

I slightly laughed. "I missed you too, Josh."

Which I believed was true. I did miss Josh, but I didn't miss the Josh who accused me and would yell all the time. But he seemed decent today.

His eyes glowed with a mysterious glint as be responded, "How much?"

"A lot."

He then came closer and pressed his lips onto mine as his arms tightened fiercely around me. We kept that way as he slowly dragged me to the couch.

This was the first time he seen me in weeks, and he didn't want to talk, he wanted to make-out. Which I honestly could say I really didn't want to do, but he did. At the moment I didn't know what to do, as his hands began going up my shirt.

Nothing. At the moment I was thinking about nothing. What was there to think about?

Oh, yeah. How Josh then brought his hands down to my jeans and attempted to unbutton them, but that's when I surprised myself and I felt my cold hand grip his as my eyes peered into his.

"No, Josh." I whispered as his hungry eyes finally met mine.

He held my gaze as he whispered back, "Why not?"

His hand was still on my pants button as he impatiently waited for my answer, but what was I supposed to say? Because I don't feel like it? Or the truth? That I didn't feel like losing my virginity on my couch in the wide open while my Mother was directly upstairs sleeping. I was only seventeen, which I honestly didn't care about, but I didn't want to risk everything we have over sex. Also, I want my first time to be special, not just the first day my boyfriend decides to see me. Actually minutes after my boyfriend walks into my house for the first time in weeks.

I shrugged. "Just not today, Josh."

I was afraid to how he would react, what I expected him to do was to freak out, but he didn't he still pressed on about it.

"Why?" He dramatically signed as he continued, "We've been dating for over four months now, Cam. Don't you think it's about time?"

Hesitation took over me. If I said no, chances are he'd be angry, if I said yes, chances are he'll keep trying. "I don't know."

I guess he took that as a yes, because he then threw off his shirt and started kissing me again. This time he was more forceful, his lips smashed against mine as his hands traveled everywhere.

My hands at first tried pushing him off of me, but that failed. He didn't move even an inch, and he sure didn't stop. I didn't want to do this, I really didn't want to do this.

His hand reached down towards my pants button again, but this time he unbuttoned it as he then reached to pull them down.

"Josh, just stop!" I shouted, I honestly didn't mean to, but I did. I shouted real loud, and who knows who heard.

My mother, obviously. Since we heard her upstairs door slam shut and a pair of feet lightly hitting the ground above us.

His hungry eyes then filled with a slight fear as he whispered, "Shit."

He quickly got up and forced his shirt back on as I hurried to button my pants and pulling them up. Also pretending as if my bra wasn't unstrapped, which I didn't even know that he did that.

My mother's footsteps then reached the stairs as Josh and I both started to comb our hair down with our hands and fix our clothes that were all tangled and ruffled looking.

Once my mother finally made it to the living room, Josh and I both were seated on the couch with his arm draped over my shoulders as he stated politely, "Good morning, Ms. Morgan."

I hated the feel of his arm around me, and I hated the sound of his innocent voice at the moment. I wished that he never even showed up in the first place, because things just got out of control.

Relief and thankfulness flew over me as I was happy that she interrupted him, because I honestly didn't want to know what would have happened if she wasn't here, or if she didn't hear me.

"Yeah, good morning." I replied, but it more was like a whisper. I was shaken up, I felt...dirty.

She looked grumpy, and very tired. However she didn't let that take over her voice while she spoke to Josh, "Good morning to you as well, Joshua. Now what was with the shouting?"

Her hands gripped her hips as a concerned look took over her face as I beat Josh to the lie, "Josh was tickling me. I hate being tickled, and I guess I shouted too loud. I'm sorry."

Josh gave her an apologetic look as he added in, "Were very sorry. We didn't notice, Ms. Morgan."

She released a fake laughed and responded, "No, no you two are fine. I was young once too, you know."

Josh and I laugh too as she then headed towards the kitchen, and Josh then brought his arm back to himself and signed in relief.

"Watch what you do next time, Cammie. We could have been caught." He then looked at me with an angered look. The reason he was mad at me, I really didn't know why.

I couldn't reply at the moment, I didn't know what to say. Was I supposed to say sorry? Tell him that I was glad we got caught?

His phone then began to ring, and he dug it out from his pants pocket and with one look at the text message he smiled. A smile that he used to do whenever he saw me.

"Who is it?" I asked, not sure if I wanted to know. Maybe it was another girl.

He shrugged and quickly responded, "Dillon. He wants to know why I'm not at his house yet." Josh then got up from the couch. "I'll call you later."

And with that, Josh left my house after he said his goodbyes to my mother.

I then went to the kitchen to get something to drink, I was exhausted and I felt disgusting in a way. Like his hands were still on me.

Once I got into the kitchen the first thing I saw was my mother staring out the window at the pouring rain as she slowly sipped her black coffee.

I never liked coffee, I thought it tasted weird and artificial, but my mother loved it. She need and craved it. Without coffee, she would be twice as horrible to deal with.

My hand pulled open the stainless steel fringe handle as my eyes wondered within it for something to drink, and I kept keeping my eyes away from the food- so I wouldn't give in and eat any.

"You were being obnoxious this morning, Cameron." She took another sip from her coffee as her gray bathrobe hung to her ankles. "You woke me up from my sleep- do you even care? Do you know how hard I work to give you everything? And you just don't care."

She didn't buy this huge house, the fancy cars, and every expensive thing for me. And I knew it. She bought all of this to look better than everyone else, to brag to everyone, and most importantly to make people see how perfect and untouchable she was. Like she was the absolute best, without a doubt.

But she wasn't, and I was sure of that. She was two-faced, and had a split personality. Like one side of her was caring, loving, passionate and all of that, and the other side of her was mean, twisted, full of hate, and she only showed that side to me.

"I do care."

She continued to stare out the window, in the same position for the last ten minutes, like she was a statue. But I knew that she really was a person who was deep in thought.

At first I believed that she didn't hear me, so I repeated myself but louder. "I do care, mother."

She didn't even turn to me as she immediately threw her glass coffee cup across the kitchen, as it slammed into the cherry wooded cabinet that was only three feet away from me. Glass flew everywhere as the noise of the glass being broken reverberated throughout the house, and I knew that moment when my heart began beating faster as her eyes glared into mine that she wasn't done.

"You care?" She then began laughing, but there was no humor within it. "You have no respect! You're disgraceful and an embarrassment! You can barely keep up with your school work, you're constantly both with DeeDee or Joshua, and besides that you're so ungrateful that it simply disgusts me."

She then threw her hands up into the air as the veins in her neck popped out and redness covered her face with anger. "You are so unappreciated, Cameron. You don't even respect me enough to keep quiet in the morning so I can get some sleep after working for a straight six days a week for fourteen hours at least a day!" She began shaking her head as her nostrils flared wide. "You abused the love and care I would show you, and honestly, Cameron I stopped loving and caring for you long ago. You simply sicken me, and I'm embarrassed to even call you my daughter. You whore around with other boys while you have Joshua, and-"

She paused and stared at me for a spilt second, until she then brought her hand to her head and gripped it. She calmed down and lightly spoke, but anger still stayed within her voice, "Just...just go. I'm done with your nonsense for today. I'm just done."

I didn't say another word. I just simply let her words sink in as I walked around the shattered glass that laid on the kitchen floor.

My feet carried me up the stairs as her words flowed throughout me.

_Worthless._

_Embarrassment._

_Disgrace._

_Whore._

_Unloved._

_Unwanted._

The words, they haunted me as I started to pace in my room with tears slowly flowing down my face. She was right, I was all of those things. But she missed a whole other list of them.

I wondered if that was how everyone else saw me. If everyone else believed that I was all those things and more. Which they probably did.

She didn't love me and she didn't care for me.

I wasn't surprised, I always thought that. I knew that deep down, but I never thought that she actually saying them would affect me like this.

My hands began to fidget as the words started to race in my head.

_Worthless, worthless, worthless._

_Embarrassment, embarrassment, embarrassment._

_Disgrace, disgrace, disgrace._

_Whore, whore, whore. _

_Unloved, unloved, unloved._

_Unwanted, unwanted, unwanted._

The words described me and I was starting to believe it. I saw it clearly in the reflection in the mirror as I stared at the mirror. I saw the girl who seemed the opposite of that, but I wasn't. Once people met me and got to know me I believe that they would see it. I didn't want that. I wanted to be worth it, shameless, esteemed, faithful, loved, and wanted. But I wasn't, and that was what pained me the most as I stared at my reflection, with the tears dripping from my eyes.

I opened my locked drawer in my desk, and I saw the small wooden box that I was given for my sixth birthday from my father, which was right next to the necklace he got me.

I placed the box carelessly onto the desk and with shaking hands I opened it and within it I saw the razors, lighters, and rubber bands. Everything that I used to hurt myself with, I felt the urge to do it again as I stared at them and as the pain got greater.

My hand picked up the razor and I slowly placed it on my bare arm once I rolled up DeeDee's sweater. My hand began shaking again, I didn't want to do it, but I needed to. I just needed to feel the metal razor slide across my arm and watch the blood drip from it, to feel what came with it.

I can't. I shouldn't. But I needed to, I needed to feel it. I needed to witness it. I need to feel something other than the pain my mother was making me feel.

_Worthless._

_Embarrassment._

_Disgrace._

_Whore._

_Unloved._

_Unwanted__._

I started moving the razor across my skin, and it pierced my skin a little as the blood began dripping from it, but I stopped myself.

My gaze was on the necklace my father had given me, the small chain that held a charm of my initials. On the back of it he had engraved; _For my favorite girl, I will always love you. -Dad._

More tears began to come as I threw the razor across the room and it smacked the wall with a slight bang. I didn't know what to feel, I didn't know what I was going to do. I wasn't thinking.

I needed to breathe.

So I took the necklace with still trembling hands and clipped it around my neck as I ran out of my room and out the front door, without even caring for what my mother was doing or what she even thought at the moment.

I got into my car and got the spare keys from my purse and once the engine roared with life I quickly pulled out of the driveway and onto the road.

At first I was going to go to DeeDee's but I then knew exactly where I needed to be. I was going to visit my father's grave.

To visit his grave was something I always wanted to do, however my mother never allowed me. She said it was inappropriate to even think that- for a reason I never even know why.

...

It was almost night time once I got to the cemetMy father was buried six hours away from my new home, and once he died my mother knew that we were planning on moving here. Why she buried him so far away, I'd never know.

Once I pulled up to the cemetery I slowly got out of the car and started to stretch and rub my eyes as they were dry from all the crying I was doing. When I was done stretching, which I had to stop at a few gas stations to do, I started to look for his grave. All I remembered was that it was gray with speckles of gray and black. I thought his grave was kind of depressing looking, because my mother took no time for flowers or anything so it was just a white rock with dots of grey and black. I remembered asking my mother if I could color his grave with my markers, but she scold me. She said that that was idiotic and it didn't deserve it. I don't know to this day if she meant he didn't deserve it, or the grave didn't need it. I couldn't answer that if my life depended on it.

I searched and paced seven rows of graves until I found my father's. On the grave it said 'In Memory of Matthew Andrew Morgan' as well as his birth date and death date, but that was it. Not in loving memory, not we will always love and remember you, nothing. Not even a picture or any ornaments next to his grave, but why?

I let those questions go for now as I then began to think of all the memories I had with my father. The day he took me to my first fair, when he attended my first ballet session, every event he was at and every wise word he told me. Until I was seven, and he soon dWhen they told me, I didn't understand. It was my Aunt Abby and my mother; they were at the table at my old house in New York. They were crying, while Aunt Abby was crying, but my mother just seemed...broken in a way, but fixed in another.

My father always told me to always follow your dreams, never let anyone push you down, and if they did push you down- don't bring them with you, just get back up. He always reminded me of the never-back-down type of person, but he was always the bigger person. No matter what happened he was always understanding and knew exactly what to do. He would always know what to do when he was under pressure, but most importantly he didn't let people's words hurt him. He was as great as they came, and I'd never forget him.

I felt more tears come from my dry eyes as a small smile laid on my lips as I whispered, "I miss you, daddy." I sat down in front of his grave and just stared at it as I remembered each and every one of his perfections, but I couldn't remember his face. "I don't know why this happened to you, but just know that I love you."

My hand lightly stroked the grave as the memories began to appear, one by one. And I sat there and replayed each and every one of them for another hour. Until I couldn't take any more of them and I decided to leave.

The moon shined brightly in the sky, and I stared up at it as I walked back to my car. I prayed that everything would be better, but I knew deep down that I wouldn't be. I knew that my father would never come back and my mother would never change, because people don't change; they hide. But I still prayed for a better day, and I hoped that that day would be tomorrow.

...

**Sorry I took so long to update! I was very busy, and I apologize for that!**

**Please review more! They make me ten times happier! (: As well as make me want to write longer and earlier. **

**I appreciate all of you who read this and those who review, I love you all! :) **

**WHAT IS TO EXPECT: **

**DeeDee's birthday party, some short of romantic scenes, school dance, and the one and only Aunt Abby! **

**Review your thoughts, opinions, constructive criticism, and more! **


	6. Chapter Six

Style is personality, not uniformity. Beauty is attitude, not perfection.

-Unknown

**Chapter Six:**

What people saw and thought of me was something I never used to care about. I used to think that everyone was perfect the way they were, and just because one had flaws didn't mean that they were any less perfect. But I don't think that anymore, nor do I believe that people are flawless. The world has proven to me that even thinking such would get you nowhere and acting like you had no care for anyone's opinion would just give you more titles. Some might think that you thought you were simply better than the rest, when in reality; you weren't better in the way they thought. But you were better by being the stronger one, and there's not many strong people left anymore. Sure, there are lots of people who appear strong, but what I'm talking about is emotionally-not physically.

That used to be me. The uncaring and unaffected type of girl towards what people had to say about me, but I'm not like that anymore. I do care. And I care way too much.

The sky was dark and had black clouds stirring around with a loud symphony of the roars of thunder and flashes of lighting making its presence known to all. I hated storms for the most part, but some days storms just seemed right. On those days I loved the storms, why I loved them is a reason I wasn't so sure of.

Nothing besides the beautiful yet terrifying sounds of the storm were echoing throughout my house. I liked it, because they blocked out my thoughts, and without the noises of the storm, you would hear nothing. My Mother and I weren't speaking to each other, and I enjoyed that. She would have nothing nice or encouraging to say to me. Never had she had anything like that to say, and never would she. All she had to say to me was either the truth about me, or words that pained me. However the truth pained me just as much.

I slowly slipped on my cute blue, black, and gray plaid jacket over my thin dark blue long sleeved shirt. Before I slipped on my jacket and shirt, I looked at my arm and the mark that I had created yesterday. It was fresh looking compared to the others that were now just faded scars. I promised myself once I convinced myself to stop the harm on myself that I'd never do it again, but I guess I got out of control yesterday. Do I regret yesterday? Yes. Not one moment of yesterday, besides visiting my Father's grave, did I want to happen. However it did, everything happened. But I was okay, because I decided to look beyond everything and push it away for now. They words my Mother said sometimes would enter my head with her same angry voice saying the words over and over again, but I tried to ignore them.

I was about to face a bigger problem today; Zach. Did I think he was going to tell people about his assumptions? (Which were true) No, but I couldn't be too sure.

So after I finished straightening my hair I hurried down to the kitchen to actually make myself a lunch. I grabbed an orange and I prepared myself a sandwich with lettuce and a piece of turkey, and I was planning on eating it in front of him at lunch. Would it stay inside of me after that? No. And I would make sure of that.

After I grabbed everything and placed it into a my purse, since we didn't have brown paper bags or anything else to put my lunch in, I then began to head towards the key holder to take my keys off the rack. After I grabbed my keys I picked up my backpack from the corner that I threw it in Friday and placed the heavy backpack on my back.

"Cameron Ann Morgan." I heard my Mother's voice call to me from behind. Her low but dangerous voice sent chills up my body, and I really didn't want to turn around.

But I did, and as I was I dully questioned, "Yes?"

If I could, I probably would ignore my Mother for the rest of my life. But I knew that wasn't possible until college, and I surely would be leaving.

My gaze first went to my Mother's stone hard glare, and then to the jacket she was holding in her hands. Zach's jacket.

I knew what she was thinking long before she said the words, but I didn't have time to assure her that it wasn't what she thought.

"Whose jacket is this?" She asked, but we both knew that she already knew the answer.

"Zach's." I stated as I lightly grabbed the jacket from her hands and stuffed it into my backpack. "I forgot about it."

"You mean he forgot about it here." It sounded like a question, but we both knew that it was a statement. A statement that was completely wrong.

I held her harsh glare for a moment before I took my phone out of my pocket and noticed that I only had five minutes to get to school. "No, he was kind enough to let me borrow it because I accidentally got my sweater wet."

"And it just happened to find its way underneath the couch?"

"No-" I started, but she interrupted.

A cold and mocking smile lit up her face as she continued, "Seems that way to me."

I didn't have time for this, so I just shook my head with heat crawling up my neck from what she thought happened. She thought Zach and I were doing stuff on the couch. Though that was absurd and unrealistic of her to even think that, considering the fact that I just basically met him.

"It's not right, Cameron." I heard her following me to the door. "You have Joshua! But he's not good enough for you, is he Cameron? You just needed another boy-toy."

My hand was on the door handle and I just left it there as I felt the coldness run to my hand, and it felt refreshing in a way. "No, Mother." I then opened the door as I stared at the rain that started to lightly come down, but within a second it began to poor. "You don't know what you talking about, so please just stop."

I then started to run out the door to quickly make it to my car without getting wet, and I heard he muffled shouts, "I know exactly what you and that boy did! And one day Joshua will know too!"

Once I made it to my car she still continued to shout from the doorway, "Were not done with this conversation, Cameron! I have had enough with your disgusting acts; whoring around like some type of white trash! What do you think people are going to start calling you?"

She still continued to yell, but I pushed the key into the slot and hurried out of the driveway and to school, where I doubt would be any better.

...

When my car pulled up to the school, I noticed that no one was standing around the school like how I witnessed them doing on the first day. Maybe because it was raining.

I got out of my car and started to walk up to the school as my hand dug around in my purse for my phone.

I made it to the school within a few seconds because I ran so I wouldn't get as wet, and I finally found my phone and as I went to turn it off I saw that I was ten minutes late. So then I quickly held the power button down to turn it off and I ran faster into the school and towards my locker.

...

After I placed my backpack into the locker I grabbed my book from the backpack and started to jog down the hallway and to my class. That I apparently already missed ten, now thirteen, minutes of.

Once I made it to Mrs. French's classroom I quickly opened the door, and once I did she stopped teaching and crossed her arms.

"You are fifteen minutes late, Cammie." She then started towards me. "Where in the world have you been?"

My mouth opened to lie but before I could a calm voice from behind me answered, "She was with me in Mr. Welsh's room." The person, who I saw was Macey, then went around me and handed Mrs. French a pink slip of paper. "We were helping him sort out the art supplies."

Mrs. French then put her glasses on and read the pink slip, and after she did she looked up at us and replied, "Have a seat."

I sent a thankful smiled towards Macey and she nodded her head as we both went to our seats as Mrs. French mumbled, "Keeping students during class and sending them back after I mark them absent, how nice of him."

After Mrs. French stood at her desk for a few minutes she then looked up and shouted, "Alright class, open your books to page 102 and choose a partner to read about a frog's immune system. Then answer the questions at the end- remember- you will be dissecting in two weeks!"

The whole class sent out a chorus of 'ew' and 'gross' as everyone got up and found a partner, besides me. I knew no one there, so I just opened my book and started to read until a desk pulled up next to me. I noticed that it was Macey.

"Hey, want to be partners?" Macey questioned as she flipped her glossy black hair over her shoulder.

I shrugged and replied, "Sure."

She smiled and opened up her book as everyone began reading, but before I did I stated, "Thanks for covering for me; you didn't have to do that."

"You're welcome." She then looked up at me from her book. "I used to go to prep schools too."

"Really?" I asked, but it didn't surprise me that much. She looked as if she went to prep schools.

She slowly nodded her head and replied, "Yup. It was when my parents and I were living in Boston."

"Why aren't you going to a prep school now?"

A cocky smile then appeared on her face as she answered, "I kept getting kicked out."

Macey getting kicked out of prep schools didn't surprise me; it seemed like something she would do. She had the rebellious look, which suited her personality nicely.

I released a short laugh as I then questioned, "Why did you get kicked out?"

She shrugged. "Once for pulling a prank on the headmistress, a couple times for hooking up with the teachers- you know things like that."

My eyes widened as I stated, "You hooked up with the teachers?"

I sounded surprise, which in a way I was, but that also seemed like something Macey would do. She was most definitely someone that I would like to be friends with, but if my Mother heard of the things she had done, all of Hell would be set loose.

"Yes." She then began looking at the book again. "But only the cute ones that resembled the younger Brad Pitt."

The younger Brad Pitt was someone every girl had to love, so I couldn't really blame her for that. However I knew I would never hook up with a teacher, but in a way I guess you could not choose who to love and who not to love.

The rest of Science ended with Macey telling me about her and her young Brad Pitt hook ups, and me hysterically laughing the whole time.

...

It was now lunch. The only thing I dreaded this whole day.

I walked slowly into the lunchroom as I soon approached the table where they all were sitting. And only one was staring at me before I approached, and that was Zach.

His gaze held mine for a few moments, and I slightly smiled at him. Once I did he quickly looked away and continued his conversation with Jonas and Grant.

I played everything out quite nicely, I took a seat between Liz and Bex and opened up my purse and pulled out my lunch.

I put the sandwich and orange right in front of me, showing it off to Zach, who wasn't staring at me anymore but deep in thought as he stared off at the wall in the farthest end of the lunchroom.

"Hey Cammie." Liz stated as she too brought out her lunch. "How was your double date with Bex and Grant?"

Double date? I had been on a double date about three times with DeeDee, Dillon, and Josh and I could say that Bex, Grant, Zach, and me all going to Tony's really wasn't a double date.

I felt a slight redness flow to my cheeks as I responded, "It wasn't a double date."

Liz looked over to Bex and she shrugged as Bex replied, "Yeah it was more like one date with two other friends- with me and Grant as the ones on the date of course."

I nodded my head and secretly thanked Bex for clearing that up because two girls named Tina and Courtney were obviously listening, but they tried to make it seem as if they were having a nice conversation right next to our table. Oh, and there was not even any talking during their conversing.

If Bex didn't clear that up, I surely would have. Though the girls wouldn't have believed it. Then rumors and drama would probably begin, and that was something I didn't need at the moment.

"Yeah, it was nice." Grant that sent daggers at Zach before he replied. "Besides having to spend like thirty bucks for refills cause someone didn't show up on time cause of their sucky ass truck."

Zach just smirked as he responded, "I liked it too, Grant."

Grant went to reply to his cocky response but before he could Zach questioned, "How about you, Cammie? Did you like it?"

I nodded my head. "Yeah, it was fun."

"And how was your Mom's big dinner?" He casually asked, but I knew exactly what he was trying to do.

"Great." I then began to peel my orange. "She was kind of mad that I took so long to get home, but I had to explain to her that your car broke down."

He stared at me as I stared right back. Neither of us said anything, but we both knew what the other one was thinking.

I then began to eat my orange, slightly smiling as I did. I wanted to prove to him that I wasn't starving myself, (though I was) and to make him stop with the assumptions that I knew lingered in his head.

Minutes past as everyone sat in silence and ate their lunch. No one spoke a single word as we all seemed to be lost in thought.

However Zach then began glaring at me and I glared right back. Maybe he was trying to convince himself that I still was starving myself, but whatever the reason for him staring at me, I didn't know. And probably never would.

"Truck." Said a voice next to Liz.

Zach and I broke the intense stare that we had and snapped our heads to Jonas as we questioned, "What?"

Jonas began poking his pizza with a fork as he repeated himself. "Truck. Zach has a truck, not a car."

"Great to know, Jonas." Macey stated.

Jonas caught me sending me a weird look at him once he glanced up, and he defensively replied, "Guys don't like it when a girl calls their truck a car. Simple fact."

"You're still mad about that?" Liz asked with a annoyed voice as she stared at him.

He simply shrugged his shoulders as Liz loudly signed but didn't say anything as she returned to her food.

Before anyone could add another word, the bell then began to ring and everyone got up from their seats and began walking towards the door.

I didn't take a bite of my sandwich, and I really didn't care as I threw it into the trash. Zach obviously didn't believe me, but that didn't matter.

...

It was my last class of the day, and I was relived. It was Spanish of course, and lucky for me I already knew Spanish. As well as French and German.

In Gallagher we were demanded to learn at least one language, and I choose French. However my Mother forced me to learn Spanish and German. It took me three whole years to learn them both, and it was complete Hell.

My Mother would get aggravated because I didn't say some words right or I didn't write them correctly. Yeah, I knew how to write in French and Spanish too. Spanish wasn't that hard, but French really was.

To this day I never understood why she wanted me to learn to write and speak them so badly. I asked her a few times but she would just keep saying 'Think of the future.' So I guess maybe for college transcripts or something. She probably wanted me to leave as fast as possible too.

Miss. Rego then stood in front of the class and stated, "El aeropuerto está a sólo siete millas de distancia, señor."

Most of the class stared at Miss. Rego with a look of bewilderment plaster joined their faces, and some just looked away, trying to avoid her gaze.

"Does anyone know what I just said?" She questioned as she began to lace in front of us with her arms crossed.

No one muttered a single word, silence eloped us all as she waited for someone to say what the words meant. I knew exactly what the words meant, but I didn't raise my hand. Not because I was embarrassed, but because I was trying to stop thinking about how many calories the orange was.

Miss. Rego stopped quickly and pointed to some girl named Mick, "You, tell me what I just said."

Mick's eyes widened as she slurred out slowly after moments of hesitating, "Um...The something is seven...minutes away, sir?"

Close, but that wasn't it. I gave her credit though, because learning new languages absolutely was the worst thing ever.

"No." She then moved away from Mick's desk and began going in between the allies, looking for someone to choose.

She stopped at my desk, only because I raised my hand.

Her eyes widened a bit as she asked, "You know what the sentence says?"

I debated how to answer that for a minute, and I was about to say no but instead I said, "Yes..."

"Well," She crossed her arms again and gave me a look as if she didn't believe me. "Let's hear it."

I signed slightly as I responded, "The airport is only seven miles away, sir."

A smile lightened up her face and she began clapping, "Good job, Cameron. Great job."

I didn't like people calling me Cameron, but I didn't know why. Perhaps because everyone used to call me that at Gallagher, or maybe because I was just sick of being talked to.

She started to head to the front again but I raised my hand quickly and she stopped. "Yes, Cameron?"

"May I go to the restroom?"

I gave in. I couldn't stop thinking of the orange, and I knew I was pathetic. But I felt a need to get rid of it now.

"Yes- if you ask in Spanish." She replied, as if that was really a challenge that she thought I wouldn't be able to take.

"¿puedo ir al baño, Miss Rego?" I quickly said it, because I honestly couldn't handle knowing that I ate lunch today. This morning it seemed like a good idea, but now I regretted it. I only would eat something with two-hundred calories in a day. But this weekend I over did it; I had strawberries for breakfast and two pizza slices of pizza with pop that wasn't diet on Saturday (which was horrible) and on Sunday I ate a granola bar, one cup of disgusting coffee from Starbucks so I wouldn't fall asleep (I never would go to McDonalds) and a power bar.

She had an impressed look on her face and she replied, "Yes, Cameron, you may. Now my problems would be much easier if more of you were like Cameron here."

When she said that, I felt a pang of disgust inside of me. What she said made me sick. No one should want to be me. I was just...nothing. I was nothing.

I acted as if I made no acknowledgement to her words as I walked out of the door and slammed it lightly.

My feet began to bring to towards the bathroom, and as I did I knew exactly what I was about to do.

Before I walked into the bathroom I checked the halls to make sure no one was coming, and then I ran into the bathroom and shoved the huge grey garbage bin in front of the door. I knew that would be suspicious if someone did come and knocked it over, but I needed a warning in case anyone did.

After that I checked all of the stalls, and no one I was them.

I quickly ran into the last stall and that was where I began to make myself puke until I felt dizzy.

After I puked, I flushed the toilet and rinsed my mouth out with the water at the sink. I felt tired and dizzy, but I really didn't care for that because felt better knowing that I really, basically, didn't even eat the orange. And what I did was worth it.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror for several seconds, I looked perfectly fine. My hair in great condition and there was no puke in it, and my make-up (mascara) was perfect. I didn't wear any other make-up besides mascara because my Mother said it made me look fake and trashy.

My hands dragged the garbage bin back into the corner of the bathroom, and then I quickly opened the door and started my way back to Spanish; however I stopped when I saw Macey leaned up against the wall that was right next to the bathroom. She had her arms crossed and one foot was on the wall, and she just stared at me.

I flashed a smile, unsure if she heard or expected anything or not, but I acted casual and said to her, "Hey, Macey."

She didn't say anything or even move position, but I didn't allow myself to think of the reasons why as I then continued my way to Spanish.

Before I even made it as far as two feet she called out to me, "It's not worth it."

I stopped in my tracks as I turned around with a fake confused look on my face, however inside I knew exactly what she meant, and I was freaking out.

I didn't show it though as I replied, "Excuse me?"

She opened her mouth to say something, but thought better of it. She then walked into the bathroom and slammed the door.

My heart was beating faster as I then casually walked back to Spanish, not wanting to know what Macey thought see heard. Which I knew what she heard, but I hoped that she would make herself not believe it.

...

School was soon over, and everyone was rushing towards their cars or buses to get home. The storm and started to act up again, and it was flooding. Some of the roads were covered slightly with water, but I knew I would be able to get home.

I gripped my backpack tighter as I thought about what Macey has said, and I then realized that going there in the first place was a huge mistake. All I did was make mistakes, and I knew it.

As I was heading to my car I saw Zach jogging to his with a book grasped between his arm and stomach, and I quickly remembered his jacket.

"Zach!" I shouted as I ran over to him.

He stopped and looked in my direction, and once I got there I unzipped my backpack and pulled out his jacket as I awkwardly stated, "I forgot to return this to you..."

He looked at it for a minute before he replied, "Just keep it."

As I went to object, more lighting flashed as rain poured down hard, but that didn't stop me from noticing a slight color of purple blue and green on his upper arm once he opened his truck door.

My eyes studied the bruise for a slight second before I blurred out, "Zach, what happened to your arm?"

He threw his books on the passenger seat as he replied without any hesitation, "I don't really know."

Once he replied he got into the driver's seat and added, "I woke up with it. Might have bumped into something."

I held his gaze for a couple more seconds, and as I went to reply he beat me to it.

"Goodbye, Cammie." He then slammed the door and pulled out of the parking-lot, leaving me dumbfounded as I grasped onto his jacket.

**...**

**IM SO LATE FOR UPDATING. **

**I'm horrible, I know, and I hate myself for it. But I will update on the 8th, I promise.**

**However I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and you probably are assuming some things (; **

**I CANNOT SAY; you have to wait and see.**

**WHAT TO EXPECT:**

**DeeDee's party, exclamations, drama, and soon Aunt Abby! **

**Please review! Tell me what you want more of, questions, everything.**

**P.S: I DO READ ALL OF THE REVIEWS.**

**^To: Those who believe I don't. I take every word you guys say and every encouraging thing to the heart, and brain. (To think what I need to add for you guys and such.) **

**I appreciate and love you all! You're all outstanding! (:**


	7. Chapter Seven

Have no fear of perfection, you'll never reach it.

-Salvador Dah

_(Two weeks later)_

**Chapter Seven:**

No, usually I'm not excited for Thursdays. Nothing good _ever_ happens to me on Thursdays. For example, one Thursday my pet cat ran away from home when I was ten, another time I sprained my ankle when I was fourteen, but I despised Thursdays the most because my Father got into the car accident on a Thursday. He got into the accident in December; a week before Christmas. Every day in December I dread, I despise December completely. There is nothing but coldness and depression for me in December, but I do a great job hiding it. Until I'm alone, and that's when I begin to think more about him, and I try to remember his face. That's when I start to burst into tears and soon feel nothing. As if I was simply numb. But once the Thursday that he died comes, that's the complete opposite to what I feel.

But this Thursday, today, I was very excited. It was Josh's and my five-month anniversary. Actually I wasn't just excited, I was _beyond_ excited. To a point were words can't describe it. Every time our anniversary comes he always takes me somewhere amazing, and always expensive. Which I hated him spending so much on me, because I didn't care if all we did was sit home and watch movies for our anniversary; as long as he was happy- so was I. His happiness was all that I cared about, and if going to expensive places made him the tiniest bit happier, so be it.

As I stood out of breath in the corner of the gymnasium I thought about where he would take me- maybe to where we had our first date; the fair in Roseville while we got to go into town on Saturday when I still went to Gallagher.

"Morgan!" Mrs. Murray, our gym teacher, shouted across the gym with an annoyed look plastered upon her face. "Keep running while you're ahead!"

I quickly nodded my head as I started to run again, with sweat beginning to slightly cover me as the sun's hot rays drilled down on me.

Out of all the classes I could possibly hate, it was gym. Not because I'm lazy, and no, not because I think it's gross to sweat, but because I found it utterly pointless. I understood that we needed exercise, but why in school? What does our physical appearance matter in our education? The only way that would matter was if we were planning on becoming professional athlete. Which by the looks of the girls behind me, panting heavy and pretending like their running, none of us really were planning on that as our profession.

"Cammie!" I turned around to see Liz running to catch up to me as I then slowed down. "Wait!"

Once she soon caught up with me she asked in between her panting, "I was wondering if you were planning on doing anything tomorrow- since we have no school."

I thought about it for a split second before I replied, "No, nothing really."

"Well Bex, Macey, and I were all wondering if you'd want to come over to Bex's and sleepover." Liz then whipped the sweat off of her face as she began breathing a little less heavy.

"Sure," I then thought about how DeeDee wanted me to help her set up for her party on Saturday. "But I would have to leave early- my friend needs my help with something."

A quick squeal escaped her mouth as she nodded her head repeatedly. "That's totally fine! It's going to be so fun!"

I released a short laugh at her excitement and replied, "Can't wait."

"Me either!" A slight frown then over took her face as she spat out, "I'm going to stop for a minute- you can keep going."

Liz then stopped and moved off of the track as she wandered onto the grass with her hands on her hips. I wondered if she would be right, and if it would be fun. However I was actually happy too for Friday like her, but I didn't know if it would be that way while I was there- because of Macey.

Ever since two weeks ago, when I puked in the bathroom at school, and she may have known what I did she was acting really short and strange to me. We would talk sometimes in lunch and Science, but now- barely ever. When I start a conversation with her, she seems to want to say something, but then she stops what she was about to say and then stops talking all together. Maybe she just was going through something, or maybe she just didn't like me. I probably would find out soon, however.

Then after the sleepover at Bex's, I would go to DeeDee's and help with the party preparations. I knew that it would be wild, since her parents wouldn't be there and because of the alcohol. A lot of people from Gallagher and Blackthorne would be coming, including Josh and Dillon, so I knew that things would get out of hand. I probably would stay there the whole night, so I would have to come up with a great lie to tell my Mother that she wouldn't see through. She knew it was DeeDee's birthday on Sunday, but she might start to suspect something once I told her I was going to sleepover on Saturday- actually no. She _would_ suspect something, and only because she didn't trust her daughter who never got in trouble once in her life.

The alcohol was something I really didn't care for, however Josh would definitely drink because Dillon would be, and DeeDee with no doubt would drink. So I knew that there probably would be drama between her and Dillon, and I knew that chances are that Josh and I would have to keep them from fighting. And that was another thing I really wasn't looking forward to.

Partying was something us prep school teenagers knew best, only because it was a time to let all of the stress and pressure that had been built up within us out, and I honestly couldn't wait for that. Letting go was something I really wanted to do, but there was something that kept making me hold on, and I didn't know what it was.

After three times around the track Mrs. Murray called to us, "All right girls, bring it in!"

Mrs. Murray was someone who seemed as if excursing was something she didn't even want to talk about (considering the McDonalds bags stacked up on her desk and her making us either run the whole gym class), she seemed as if she simply hated what she taught. She always told us she wanted to be a math teacher, but for some reason she never got the chance. So I sometimes I would feel bad for her when I would see her looking glum as she kicked the gravel around on the track, but that feeling would soon diminish as she soon yelled at us for being too slow and threaten to make us run twice as much tomorrow.

We all then ran back into the school and into the locker rooms as we all changed back into our clothes and re-did our make-up. There were about two mirrors in the locker room, and about six girls stood behind one as they checked themselves out and complained about how sweaty they were and how they now looked disgusting. I didn't want to take the risk of looking into the mirror, I didn't want to know what I looked like at the moment, and it wasn't like I would be able to see myself in the mirror with the army of girls surrounding it.

I saw Liz standing by her locker with a strange look outlining her once happy face, so I got up from the bench and walked over to her. "Liz, what's wrong?"

She stared into her locker for a moment before she responded, "Nothing it's just...I'm kind of worried."

My eyebrows quickly knitted in concern as I questioned, "Why Liz? What happened?"

Many assumptions flew throughout my head as I watched her bite her lip and slowly answer, "I don't know…it's just that, well you know how Zach wasn't here yesterday and neither today?"

Zach hadn't been in school for two days, but that wasn't something that she should be concerned about. Maybe he just was sick or family issues, it happens all the time. "That's really nothing to be worrying about, Liz. Maybe he has the flu, or-"

"He isn't answering anyone's texts, Cammie." She interrupted as her light eyes peered into mine. "What if he's hurt or even …_dead_?"

I thought about what she said for a few minutes before I replied, "Liz, maybe he just doesn't feel like it- things like that happen to me a lot when I'm sick too. I just don't feel like dealing with people so I turn off my phone and stuff."

"Yeah…" Her doubtful eyes then returned to the floor. "Maybe that's it."

I didn't know if I believed my words either. Maybe something really was wrong with Zach; maybe he was really injured…

As the bell rang and we went to our last hour class I thought about Zach and his absence, and I then decided that once I got home I would call him a few times, and if he didn't answer- _then_ I would start to freak out.

…

The school day was soon over, and I quickly went to my locker then ran to my car. I was in a hurry to get home so I could get ready, and because I still was concerned about Zach. His jacket was in my car, lying innocently across the backseat as I wondered why he didn't just take his jacket back. It wasn't like I didn't wash it or anything; it was perfectly fine. However I couldn't stop wondering why he didn't take it back- Dillon did the same thing too, but that was just to get DeeDee jealous. Maybe Zach only wanted to get another girl jealous or something. But I don't know why he would choose me out of all the girls; I was nothing to brag about or to even get some girl jealous. I was simply nothing that any other girl couldn't compete with.

My eyes widened as it then came to me; maybe Zach had a thing for Macey. That would explain everything. Why she was acting strange around me, why Zach took me out and gave me his jacket. He wanted to get Macey jealous.

I felt slight anger build up in me as I finally pulled into my driveway, thinking about how stupid I was to believe that he wanted to be friends. He wanted to get her jealous, and by the looks of it; she was. But I still didn't know why me, she was ten times prettier than me and everything else better than me. Maybe because I was the new girl; someone who Macey didn't know about. She may not know about me, but I knew exactly what I would do once I saw her. I would explain everything to her once I got the chance.

I did my same casual retinue as I walked into the house; I dropped my backpack in the corner and hung the keys on the key holder as I went to go run up stairs.

However I stopped once I heard my Mother calling for me. "Cammie! Can you come here for a minute?"

My feet then turned me around and sluggishly dragged me to my Mother's study as I prepared to get yelled at for something.

Once my hand pulled the study door open I walked in and quietly shut the door as I approached to her desk, where she sat looking at the computer screen.

"What did you want, Mother?" My fingers kept tapping against my thighs impatiently as I waited for her to say what she wanted to say.

She then took off her glasses and set them to the side as a smile lit up her face and she then said, "So where are you and Josh going this evening?"

I surged my shoulders and replied, "I really don't know. He likes to surprise me."

"Sweet boy." Her smile soon faded as her face recovered with complete seriousness. "I would like to apoligize for everything that has happened over this last month."

"It's fine, Mother." I answered as I tried to make her believe that I actually thought she was telling the truth, as if I never heard that before and like everything she did and said was okay. It wasn't though, and I knew it never would be.

She shook her head in disagreement as she responded, "No, it's not, Cameron. It has just been hard for me. Everything with work and with all the drama that we never even finish discussing- it's been hard on me."

A dramatic sign then released from her lips as she continued, "I'm stressed out, Cameron. I haven't been acting like a good Mother lately, and I know that. So I did us both a favor."

My heart began to race faster as the worst filled my mind; _is she sending me off to a boarding school? Are we moving back to New York? _

"What did you do?" I felt my eyes get bigger as she simply laughed at my expression.

"Relax, darling." She then laughed again. "Your Aunt Abby is coming to stay for a week. She'll be here by Sunday and she'll be staying in the guest house."

Relief took over me as slight anger did too. I hadn't seen my Aunt Abby since my Father's funeral, and she wasn't there for us when we needed her to be. When I needed her to be when my Mother was drinking bottles of wine after bottles of wine, when I put myself to sleep by all the tears I cried, and much more. We both needed her, and she wasn't there.

I nodded my head and began to head for the door. "Great. I'm going to be getting ready now."

"Wait, Cameron! We still have a lot to discuss." My Mother's voice stopped me in my tracks as I then returned back over to her.

"Now." She took a sip of coffee from her glass mug. "How are you and that other boy- _Zachary_."

She said his name like he was a disease or something. Like she had no respect for him, like he was nothing. She would often use that tone when she spoke to me a lot too, so I was used to it.

I searched for the word to say, at first I actually was going to tell her of what I assumed like any other daughter would do to their mother, but I quickly decided not to, it wasn't like she cares about that. So I nodded my head and bleakly replied, "Fine. We're just fine."

"I'm going to ask you a question, Cameron, and you have to answer honestly." Her eyes glared into mine as she continued. "Do you understand?"

"Yes." I mumbled. I honestly wasn't in the mood for this right now. Sure she might have seemed nicer, but it wasn't anything I hadn't been through before.

Her hands intertwined with each other as she asked, "Are you having an affair with Zachary?"

My mouth gapped open slightly as I was even more aggravated. Of course she still didn't believe me. So I didn't know why I even wasted my breath to respond, "No, Mother. I love Josh and_ only_ Josh."

I didn't believe in having affairs, in fact, I never would do it. I never even understood why people did that to their husband or boyfriend. If they were unhappy, then leave. It was honestly as simple as that. There really was no need to break the person's heart even more.

She studied me for several long minutes as I waited for her to say something, because I had no idea what she was thinking as her eyes peered into mine. She probably didn't believe me, but it was no surprise to me. She already thought I was the whore of the town.

However she did the thing that I least expected and nodded her head once as she stated, "Good. You and Josh are perfect together."

I never knew why she liked Josh so much. Perhaps it was his charm while he spoke, or probably because his father was a CEO of a major company and she had respect for people of money and power. Chances are that it was probably both.

"I know." I then pointed to the door. "Can I go now? I really have to get ready now."

She flashed me a quick smile as she jumped up from her chair and replied, "Of course, Cameron."

I began to leave the study, but before I did she quickly added, "And stay away from that other boy, Cameron. He's only trouble."

My mouth opened to responded, and what I really wanted to do was defend him, but instead I simply answered, "Okay."

…

When I was done taking a shower, applying make-up, getting dressed, and curling my hair I stared at my reflection. I was wearing a light pink colored dress that stopped inches above my knees, with a white jacket that was appropriate for the situation, and my curly hair reached down to the middle of my lower back. Everything seemed perfect to me as I grabbed my five inch silver heels and slid them on my feet.

I then grabbed my phone from my dresser to see how much longer until Josh got here; it was about five minutes and I knew Josh would be here exactly on time. He always was.

I held the phone in my hands as I debated whether or not to call Zach. Because if what I assumed was right, then he was basically using me this whole time.

Then Liz's words replayed in my head; 'What if he is hurt or even…_dead_?'

After a few seconds of staring at the phone I quickly picked it up and dialed his number as the ringing soon began.

I paced along my room as I waited for him to answer and right when I thought he wasn't going to answer- the ringing stopped.

There was complete silence at the other end for a couple of seconds until a muffled and rough sounding voice asked, "Who is this?"

It defiantly wasn't Zach; this guy sounded older- maybe in his forty's. At first, I was just going to hang up, but instead I replied, "This is Cammie Morgan, I was wondering if I could speak with Zach?"

There was a long pause at the end of the line, and I thought the person actually hung up. But then I looked at the screen and saw that the person was still there.

Who was this guy? He said his father wasn't in his life anymore so I honestly had no clue who it could be. He never mentioned anything about brothers.

The voice then returned, "Sorry, but Zach can't speak right now."

I was then kind of down when the man said he couldn't talk right now. Maybe he was sleeping or something.

"Oh. Well can you tell him that I called?"

The voice then let out a small laugh. "Sure."

Before I could say another word the man quickly hung up and left me there as I was completely confused at what was going on. Why did that man have Zach's phone? Maybe he stole it from him.

I noticed that I was biting my lip as I continued to worry about Zach, however I was soon interrupted my Mother, "Cameron, Joshua just pulled into the driveway! Come down so I can see you!"

My hand then grasped my clutch as I dropped my phone into it and hurried down the stairs for my Mother to decide if I was good enough or not.

Once I made it downstairs she quickly ran over to and checked me out, her eyes slowly looking from my heels and to my head.

"You look alright. Now go, don't leave him waiting any longer."

Without another word I ran out the door and into his car, and once I did he leaned over and kissed my cheek as he greeted, "You look hot, babe."

When he said the words I didn't know really how to respond, because half of me didn't believe it. Maybe he didn't believe it either.

"Thanks." He then put the car in reverse and pulled us out of the driveway. "Where are you taking me?"

He shrugged as he replied, "You'll see."

…

We arrived to a restaurant called 'Di Pasqua' and he grabbed my hand as we walked into the Italian restaurant. The woman at the front desk greeted us with a big smile as he stated, "Mr. Abrams, it is so nice to see you! Absolutely wonderful!"

The woman then turned to me and added, "Now where would you and your lovely girlfriend like to sit?"

I wondered how she knew I was his girlfriend as my eyes wandered the place, overlooking each detail as I then realized; it was Josh's father's restaurant. Everything was very fancy and the whole place was dim as couples and families sat at the round tables dressed up in dresses in suits as pictures of flowers in vases and fruit in bowls hung on the walls- which I found slightly odd.

"The backroom. We want some privacy." His arm then wrapped around my waist. "It's our anniversary."

The women flashed us a big fake smile as she stated in fake enthusiasm, "Well happy anniversary! You two are so cute together! Now follow me this way."

She then lead us throughout the busy place as we soon got to the backroom, where one table sat in the middle of the room with the view of the town and all the lights that reminded me of New York. It was quite amazing to me.

A man then came and dropped two menus on our table as we then took a seat, and the man said, "I will return shortly."

And with that, Josh and I were completely alone as we looked out the window and down at the town. His hands then grabbed mine. "Cammie, things have been hard ever since you moved. But we managed to get this far, and I believe we can get through anything."

I nodded my head in agreement. "It has been, and we can. I want to thank you for everything. You've been a great boyfriend to me."

A smile lighten up his face as he responded, "You're welcome, babe."

"I got you something." He then stuck his hand into his pants pocket and pulled out a small black box and he then set it on the table. "Open it."

My head grasped the black box and I slowly opened it. Inside was silver ring with a dark red ruby on it- it was absolutely gorgeous.

My gaze then drifted from the ring to his eyes as I stated, "Josh, you really didn't have to do this."

His eyes slightly widened as he asked, "Do you not like it?"

I then answered quickly as I held the box, "No, I love it- it's beautiful. But it seems like a lot of money."

He shrugged. "It was, but who cares."

It then occurred to me that his father probably bought it, which I actually didn't doubt that. Josh didn't have a job- he didn't need a job. He already had his life planned out and taken care of for him, kind of like how I did.

His fingers then grabbed the ring as he then grabbed my hand and slid it on. I stared at the ring on my finger as I whispered, "I love it, Josh."

"It will do." My gaze returned to his as he then added, "Until I place a wedding ring on your finger."

As I looked into his eyes I noticed that he was serious, and that he was actually…actually planning on marrying me.

I didn't know what to say, I was surprised. However I managed to flash him a small smile as he then stated, "I love you, Cammie."

My mouth felt slightly numb as I slowly said the words, "I love you too, Josh."

At that moment, I honestly didn't know how I felt. I didn't know what to say or how I should feel. If your boyfriend tells you that he was planning on marrying you in the future, you should be ecstatic. However I didn't feel that way. I simply didn't know.

…

**Not so long, and it's actually 1:16 am on the 9****th****, but I started at 10:13 and expected to get done at 12:00, but I was kind of late. This chapter basically is the beginning of soon to be drama, I promise you that. (:**

**WHAT TO EXPECT:**

**Aunt Abby, sleepover, Zach, questions, exclamations, and**_** real**_** drama. **

**I can't wait. ;) **

**Please review, and remember- you all are perfect. Don't forget that.**


	8. Chapter Eight

The pursuit of excellence is gratifying and healthy. The pursuit of perfection is frustrating, neurotic, and a terrible waste of time.

-Edwin Bliss

**Chapter Eight:**

As I walked up the concrete steps that led to Bex's house I honestly can say that I was not completely unaware of anything that was about to happen. I didn't really think about what was going to happen, because I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that gave me a sense of what was going to happen.

I had a slight headache, after being interrogated by my Mother as to where I was going and who was going to be with and what time was I going to go to be home and so on and so forth.

But that was only side-talk, because then the real questioning came.

She then asked who Bex's parents were and what they meant to the public. My Mother doesn't care as to who I'm with, but who I'm _seen_ with. My Mother doesn't care where I'm at, but who can _see_ me there. She doesn't care when I'm going be home, but how long she has to _snoop_ through my things so I wouldn't be able to object. It was all too known to me.

When she asked me who her parents were, as in what their status in the lower or upper class is, I could have just been like any other daughter and told her Mother the truth, expecting her not to care or judge. But that was the thing, she does care and she does judge.

So I lied.

A professor and a surgeon was what I came up with, and the lie flew swiftly off my lips. I learned from the best; the official con. The only one who knew what questions to ask for her own sake, the only one who knew what things to say to make others believe her, and the only one who know how to ruin someone's reputation or make someone worthwhile. And that person is no other then my Mother.

My knuckles hit the door softly as I looked around her house. She had a freshly painted white fence with bushes surrounding the inside. I saw the top half of an old worn out swing set, and a few trees that stood tall in the distance. I then studied the house as I noticed it was about two stories high and a light blue with pale white bricks.

I then heard a small dog parking and several footsteps running towards the door where I was patiently waiting.

Her white door quickly busted open and a small dog came running towards me as he started to sniff me and wag his tail with excitement. The dog then started to jump on me, as Bex went to greet me.

"No, Buddy!" Bex shouted as she went to grab his collar. "Down!"

Buddy ignored Bex and still jumped with excitement as I laughed and I a small smile lit my face as I stated, "No it's fine! I really don't care!"

Bex sent me an odd glance as she replied, "Alrighty then."

It was understandable how that might be weird to some people, but I honestly didn't mind dogs. I had always wanted a dog my whole life, but I never was able to get one. My Mother said they were disgusting, slobbery, and too much. Basically how she sees me, besides the slobbery part.

"Anyways come in, Macey and Liz are in the kitchen and I'll take your bag upstairs." And with that, she took my bright pink duffel bag from my hands and guided me inside.

The inside of her house was like any typical family's house. They had everything appropriate for them, and nothing too fancy. It was exactly the house I always wanted my childhood to be in. The house itself seemed as if it had a story to it, a story that only the Baxter's knew of.

I walked down the hall and saw Macey and Liz sitting on stools in front of a small contour between a yellow bowl of popcorn and two cans of Pepsi next to them. Macey's was surprisingly not diet, which was kind of strange. She always was on a diet. No fat and no sugar diet and no junk food diet, which I didn't understand why she was, she was perfect. She was perfectly skinny and just...perfect. She didn't need to be on a diet, and maybe she realized that.

"Cammie!" Liz greeted once she saw me, and she got off of the stool and walked towards me with a large grin across her face. She then hugged me and continued, "I'm glad you could make it!"

I smiled briefly at her once she released me as I slowly responded, "I'm glad I could too."

My gaze then met with Macey who slightly smirked. "Hey."

I smiled back but didn't respond. I didn't know what to say or even how to act around her. Things just didn't feel right, like there was something in the air. Something that was unsaid between us, and I hoped that it would stay unsaid.

Liz sat back down and grabbed a hand full of popcorn and questioned, "Want some?"

"No, I don't like popcorn." I then pointed to my mouth. "The cornels always get stuck in my teeth."

Lie. I love popcorn. I could eat popcorn for the rest of my life if I wanted to, and just looking at it made my mouth water. But that was something that I just had to ignore for the moment. Like how I ignored Macey's staring intensely at me the whole few minutes that I've been here.

I didn't even know Bex came back down until I heard her mysteriously state, "Well that's okay, Cammie. Because we have a better treat coming soon."

A devilish smile appeared on her face as I heard Liz quickly question, "What are you talking about Bex?"

She shrugged. "While I was upstairs, I got a call from a Grant. He said he was with Zach and Jonas and they were bored."

"And?" Macey asked, not fazed at all. She looked as if she really didn't care who was here or not.

A smile then plastered on Bex's face as she added, "There going to be coming over soon- like five minutes."

"So that means Zach's not dead after all." Liz quietly stated.

Which was kind of an overstatement because we knew he wasn't actually dead. But he's just been absent a lot at school, barely answering texts, and things like that. He probably missed twenty days of school already, and when he would be at school, he looked as if he was still absent. Silent and deep in thought, as if something was bothering him inside.

I then remembered yesterday and how I called him and someone else answered his cell phone. That was something that I was thinking about last night as I restlessly laid awake, well one of the many things. Like Josh's confession last night. He was planning on marrying me. Marrying- me. Nothing was right with that statement, because out of all the girls in the world, Josh Abrams wanted me.

Josh Abrams, Mr. Perfect, wanted me, Miss. Imperfect.

Nothing was okay with that. He was better than me in every way possible, he was untouchable. He was like a king and I was a peasant, he was admired and looked up upon, and I was a disgrace and looked down on. He deserved better and I knew that. Everyone knew that.

Macey's eyebrows knitted in concern. "I wonder what is wrong with Zach."

They then all glanced over at me, as if they were waiting for me to say something about it. To confirm them that something was wrong with Zach maybe, but honestly I didn't know. Maybe because I just didn't know the real Zach.

"Why are you guys staring at me?" I asked defensively. I hated when people stared, it made me think of all the nasty things they were saying about me to their selves.

How horrible I was and how ungraceful I seemed, but they didn't need to tell me. Because I knew.

Liz shrugged and replied, "I don't know. We just though you would know."

I held her gaze for several seconds before I questioned, "I know as much as you guys."

"But your closer to him then we are." Macey stated as she began twirling her hair around her fingers. "Talk to him more."

"I still don't know anything."

Bex opened her mouth to reply, but before she could the doorbell rung and she quickly ran to get it without another word spoken.

Everyone knew why Bex was excited, and that was because of Grant. Everyone knew she had her eye on him, and he obviously wanted her too. But neither of them confessed yet, as if they both were waiting for the others approval. And they would get no one else's, because every girl and boy in school knew that Bex was Grant's and Grant was Bex's. And no one interfered with that.

I suddenly realized that I didn't see her parents. "Where is Mr. And Mrs. Baxter?"

Macey dully answered, "At a wedding in North Carolina. They won't be back until one tomorrow."

Grant, Jonas, Zach, and Bex then came into the kitchen. As Bex, Grant, and Jonas where all loudly talking as I watched Zach walk in with his hands in his pockets. He quietly studied the kitchen, and then his eyes quickly flickered to mine.

I looked away, holding his gaze for less than a second. I didn't know why I looked away, and I couldn't explain it for my life.

...

We were all huddled around the kitchen in silence, no one saying a single word as several hands fought over what was left of the popcorn. I then looked out the small window in the corner of the kitchen and noticed that it was now completely dark out. It had to be around eight or nine.

"So..." Macey started. "What do we do now?"

Jonas then dramatically snapped his head towards Macey as he loudly questioned, "Macey, do you not know what time it is?!"

Macey sent him a death glare as she seemed as if she knew what was going to happen. However that didn't stop her from pointing at the oven clock and reading the time. "It's eight-thirty three."

"Nope!" Jonas replied with a smirk.

Macey rolled her eyes once Grant finished, "It's party time!"

"What's 'party time'?" I questioned.

Grant snickered as he pulled out a white grocery bag from inside his jacket. He quickly opened it and brought out a glass bottle of alcohol.

Bex's eyes widened as she stated, "No way. Not in my house."

Liz's eyes were wide too, but for a whole different reason then Bex. Liz seemed as if she never had alcohol before, let alone partied.

"Come on," Grant started. "We'll play a quick game with it and then that's it."

Bex went to protest but before she could Macey shrugged carelessly and stated, "I'm in."

Liz whispered fiercely, "Macey!"

"What?" She rolled her eyes. "It's not like there's anything better to do Liz."

After a few minutes of arguing, Liz and Bex finally agreed to it, but I just stared at the bottle, thinking of what could happen.

It wasn't that I was afraid of alcohol, because I have had it before. Only a little bit, but I wasn't scared of it. I had partied before like I didn't care who saw me or what I did or said. And I liked that. I made me not feel for once and not care. It made me let go.

_Let go..._

"You don't have to do it if you don't want to, Cammie." Bex stated as they all waited for my response.

Liz quickly agreed, "Yeah, no peer pressure or anything."

I really wasn't listening to them, but to my own thoughts that fought with each other silently to them, but loudly to me. A reason I wouldn't want to do it was because if something bad happens, that didn't compare to the feeling of it. The feeling of letting go and not caring anymore.

_Let go..._

I felt Zach's eyes on me as he stated, "I'm in."

My gaze quickly snapped from the bottle of alcohol to Zach's emotionless stare. We didn't look away from each other as I peered into his dark eyes, not thinking at all. His look wasn't teasing or even the tiniest bit threatening, but for some reason I felt the need to agree with him.

_Let go..._

"I am too."

Grant then smiled and popped open the bottle as Zach glanced away from my gaze, as I saw a slight expression within his eyes. Like yes was the last thing he wanted me to say.

...

"So basically what you do is if you have done something that the person said, you take a shot, if you never have done something, you do nothing." Grant clarified to Liz for the tenth time. "You get it?"

Liz seemed as if she wanted to ask another question but she slowly replied, "I think so."

"I'll go first." Bex stated as she lifted up her shot in the air and said, "Never have I ever...stolen something."

Zach and Grant both glanced at each other and quickly took a shot, grimacing a little from the taste of it.

"You guys stole something before?" I asked slightly surprised. I couldn't see either of them stealing something, but I know I shouldn't be shocked. It was something a lot of people did, but I never knew they did things like that.

"NQA!" Jonas quickly shouted as he raised his shot into the air. "No questions asked about this stuff."

Zach and Grant seemed as if they didn't even care. But if they did, Jonas didn't give them time to protest.

"Never have I ever been in jail or visited a jail!" Jonas shouted after a few seconds of thinking.

Zach was the only one who took a shot, not meeting anyone's glares as he did. He seemed as if he simply didn't care to hide anymore. And that was a change I was willing to accept. But I couldn't help but wonder if he had been to jail or visited.

"Okay..." Jonas then pointed to Liz. "Your turn."

She shrugged, and fingered her shot glass. "Never have I ever gone past first base."

Liz's cheeks reddened as Grant, Zach, Bex, Macey, and I all took a shot. I grimaced as the alcohol went burring down my throat. The taste I hated, but the effect was worth it.

...

After many questions and a half hour later, the whole bottle was gone. Grant was dancing to some commercial on TV, Macey was video tapping him as Bex was laughing hysterically, and Jonas and Liz were arguing about Newton's law of motion.

Which left Zach and me staring at them doing so, and I watched them as I didn't even know why, but I was laughing as hard as Bex. I was just laughing and I liked it. Laughter was sacred to me, as happiness was sacred to me. So when I felt a rush of it, I made it worth it.

"Calm down Cammie." Zach playfully stated as he watched me laugh- a slight smile on his face.

I suddenly stopped laughing, and began walking towards the back door. I didn't know why I was, but I really didn't care.

"Cammie, where are you going?" Zach questioned from behind me.

I gripped the white handle of the screen door and pulled it open, and once I did Buddy came rushing past me and into the yard.

My feet carried me to the deck, and I heard Zach slam to door shut as he followed me, still questioning, "What are you doing?"

I just stood staring at the pool, watching the colors change from blue to green to red to pink and so on.

"Cammie?"

I still ignored him as I then took my shirt and pulled it off and over my head. I then threw it on the deck and started to closer to the pool.

"Cammie!" I heard Zach shout, and I knew he was behind me, but he sounded miles away.

My fingers then struggled to get my belt off, but before I could get it off I felt someone grab my hand and hold them tightly.

"Let go..." I whispered as I tried to get out of their grip.

"What are you planning on doing?" I looked up from my hands and saw Zach staring down at me. His eyes wide and confused looking, as if he didn't know me.

"I want tah go swimmin' Zachary!" I shouted loudly, not caring if it was too loud for the neighbors or not.

"No." He still held my gaze. "Put your shirt back on, Cammie."

I smiled, knowing exactly what to say. The truth. "Because I'm fat, right?"

I saw his eyes widen as he offensively said, "You're not fat, Cam. But you are stupid for saying that. Now let's find your shirt."

"I'm stupid and fat."

Zach chuckled lightly as he replied, "No, you're just drunk."

His hands then let mine go, and I continued to stare at the pool. Watching the pretty colors change.

"Cammie..." Zach whispered, sounding shocked for some reason.

I looked from the pool to him, "Whaaat?"

I then say his gaze staring directly at my arms.

At my arms...at the scars...

I felt my lips suddenly tremble as I tried then sprinted and stumbling to get my shirt.

No, no, no, no.

Before I could grab it his hand gripped my arm. "How did you get them Cammie?"

"Let me go Zach!" I couldn't answer, didn't want to. It all felt like a dream- a nightmare.

"How-"

"Let me go!" I shouted again, but louder. Not wanting to be here. Wishing not to be so stupid.

His hand released my arm and I went scavenging for my shirt, but I couldn't see it. I didn't even remember where I threw it.

Zach whispered again, "Tell me the truth Cammie."

I didn't answer, and I stopped looking for my shirt. I just dropped down on the deck, my hands on my head. Wishing I wasn't there.

"Josh did that to you, didn't he?"

I kept shaking my head, not saying anything.

"Didn't he?" Zach tried again.

"No!" I stared at the dark wood of the deck. "I did it."

Silence took over us, and a few minutes later he bent down and whispered, "Why? Why do something like that to yourself?"

"I'm...I'm...I don't know." I started to shake my head again. "I don't know."

He dropped down next to me, and he grabbed my arm and I let him. I felt his eyes overlooking them carefully.

"You don't do it anymore...right?"

I shrugged, not answering his question or making promises.

"Cammie. Swear to me that you won't do it anymore."

Silence took over us, and all of a sudden I felt a trail of tears run down my cheek, and more and more came. I couldn't control it, and I began to shake as I thought deeply about everything that happened to me.

I then felt the warmth of Zach's arms around me. Then the warmth on my ear as he whispered, "its okay. Everything is going to be okay."

"I'm sorry Zach." I looked up at him, tears slowly coming. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. It's okay."

I then tried to pull away from him as I loudly stated, "No. No it's not. I'm so stupid and I shouldn't be doing this and I'm just..."

I felt his eyes eagerly waiting for me to finish, and once I didn't he asked, "Your just what?"

"Stupid? Ugly? Fat?" I humorlessly laughed. "You name it."

He shook his head. "Don't even say that."

"Say what? The truth."

"The truth?" He shook his head. "You mean lies."

I kept shaking my head. He was the one lying, trying to make me feel better. Trying to make me forget, as if I didn't know myself. Like I didn't own a mirror.

"You're beautiful."

He didn't stop, "You're beautiful, and you don't see it Cammie. You must be blind if you don't see absolute beauty."

"Stop." Was all I could whisper, but he didn't.

"Gorgeous." He stated. "Inside and out. You're beautiful, whether you want to be or not."

His fingers brushed over my scars as he questioned, "I couldn't even imagine what would make you want to do this to yourself..."

"Because I'm stupid, fat, and ugl-"

I never got to finish, because at that point of time, his lips pressed against mine. And everything felt unreal, and slow, but amazing all at once. As if it was unreal and something you dream of your first kiss as. Something every girl wants.

My fingers rushed through his hair, as I felt his hand on my back to my neck and back. Making me shiver as he did.

We stayed like that for a few more seconds, until I pulled away.

I began shaking my head. It was wrong, it was all too wrong.

It was wrong because it felt right. It was all too perfect.

He stared at the ground for a moment, not saying anything at all. And I didn't want him to.

I jolted up from the deck and began to stumble, and Zach got up to as he went to help me stay straight up, but I reject his offer.

"No, just- just stay away." That couldn't of happen.

_Josh._

_Josh._

_Josh._

_Josh._

"Cammie I'm sorry-"

What was going to happen next, I didn't know. Because before he could finish, my world turned black.

...

**LONG TIME NO WRITE.**

**How many of you guys hate me? Well I hate myself right now. I haven't updated in forever and I apologize greatly.**

**Things have been going on and since school has started as well everything has been horrible for me. I am truly sorry for the long wait, but I promise that I will update a lot sooner.**

***Sorry for the super short and horrible/sloppy chapter. Tell me what you want more of or for me to improve!**

**So short and suckish, I am SOOO sorry, things will get better. Promise.**

**Expect: Aunt Abby, drama, DeeDee party, secrets, and more.**


	9. Chapter Nine

We fear rejection, want attention, crave affection, and dream of perfection.

-Unknown

**Chapter Nine:**

I felt no fear and had absolutely no concern as I spaced out at the dark blue and black sky. There were stars scattered all around, and a bright full moon was completly in the sky, as if it simply had no concern at the moment either.

Darkness covered everything, but the moon lit up the dark pavement road in which I was sitting on. My hand rubbed the pavement softly, feeling the roughness underneath my skin.

No, I did not have any clue where I was or what was happening, but I did not have the slightest care for it. So I just sat there, letting the odd yet peaceful moment fulfill me.

The trees that were on each sides of the road shook softly, as if there was wind, but I felt none. I didn't think much of it- actually I didn't think anything of it. I just studied it calmly, still not caring. And I liked it.

As I was watching the trees move, and admiring the numbness of it all, that's when something propelled me to look straight ahead of me- so I did.

There was a dark figure standing directly in the middle of the road, the light from the moon hit his face slightly, showing that he was a man.

At first, I didn't think much of it, but then curiosity got the best of me.

"Hello?" I heard myself say the word, but I did not feel myself saying it.

The man then began to walk slowly towards me, and I then also got up and walked towards him too. I felt no fear as I was, nor that the man would harm me.

Once we came to each other, I saw the man's face clearly; he had dark brown slightly curly hair, dark eyes, and very pale skin. His eyes stared into mine; they seemed as if they weren't even processing what he was doing. As if he had no acknowledgement- no… as if he was dead.

I studied the man more closely, and I felt my bare feet begin to walk closer to him- and that's when I finally noticed who the man was.

He was…my Father.

That's when I slowly stuttered out, "D-Dad?

He ignored what I had asked, and just continued to look at me for a few more seconds. Then he looked at the ground and frowned.

Curiosity flowed throughout me again, why is he frowning? What could possibly be wrong?

"Dad," My voice questioned, sounding lighter and younger than it should be. "Are you alright?"

"Do not believe in it." He continued to look at the ground. "Do not believe in it."

My eyebrows knitted in concern as I asked, "Believe in what, Dad?"

"Do not believe in it."

"In what?" My voice got louder. "Don't believe in what?"

That's when I saw two dim lights appear behind him, the slightest bit heavenly. Maybe even calming.

Dad's eyes quickly met mine again as he stated, "Do not believe in it."

That's when I realized, the lights where coming closer, why are they coming closer?

"Goodbye."

In the split of a second, the lights completely consumed him, and I heard myself shouting. I had no clue what was happening, but I felt as if something inside me exploded.

The lights took him down, sending him straight to the ground, but passing right threw me. As if I was not affected by them…but that's when I saw it.

It was a truck…

The truck speed down the rest of the pavement road, until it completely vanished.

_Headlights._

"No…" I muttered desperately, once I realized what had just occurred. "Dad?!"

I dropped to my knees and crawled over to him, I saw myself shaking.

"Dad! Please, get up!"

But he never did, instead, he completely disappeared just like the truck.

Then I saw the trees vanish, the sky, and lastly the road. Darkness took their places.

And I was alone.

…

"Cammie!" A voice shouted. "Cammie!"

I felt my whole body moving, as if someone was shaking it.

That's when I felt the presence of two hands on my shoulders.

My eyes slowly opened, and I looked around, not recalling where I was.

I was lying on a couch, with a plaid blanket covering me and providing warm heat. And that's when I felt so tired- as if I got no sleep at all.

"You were shouting- no screaming in your sleep."

My head snapped over to Macey who stood directly to the right of me- the one who I presumed woke me up.

For a moment I studied her, and she looked like she was perfectly fine, but Liz, who was next to her picking up the pieces of broken glass, looked as if she was sick; dark circles around her eyes, pale skin, etc.

I then prompted myself up on my elbow, about to get up, but that's when I felt as if I was sick too.

"Oh my gosh…" I whispered. "I feel like I'm going to puke."

"Congratulations," Macey yawned. "You're hungover."

My eyes narrowed to her, and as they did I noticed that they were extremely heavy. "I noticed."

I then swung my legs off of the couch, and quickly stood up- which probably was the worst thing ever. I then felt a huge pain in my stomach, besides the need to puke, agony exploded in my head, and shocks of pain affected my eyes.

I groaned loudly, and immediately sat back down. I closed my eyes and began to rub my temples, but it really did no help.

"Here," A clinging of glass then hit the table. "Take this."

I opened eyes to see Bex holding a bottle of Advil and slightly smiling, she looked as bad as me and Liz.

"Thanks." I mumbled as I grabbed the bottle of Advil and the glass of water.

Bex nodded her head and took a seat next to me, resting her head on the back of the couch.

After I swallowed the Advil we all stayed in silence, and I then began to think about my dream. He kept saying 'Do not believe in it', but why? Believe in what? Then…then the headlights…

I shook my head fiercely. I didn't want to think about it at the moment.

"So…" Bex stated. "Cammie, do you want to talk about it…"

"About what?"

She shrugged. "You're dream- or well nightmare. You were literally screaming for like five minutes until Macey decided to wake you up."

A humorless laugh escaped my lips as I lied, "I honestly don't even remember it."

Of course I remembered- I just didn't really want to. Nor did I want to talk about it.

"How about last night?" Macey asked as she raised her eyebrows and a slight smile sprouted across her face. "You and Zach seemed to have a nice time outside."

"What do you mean?" I questioned, I felt my heart begin to race inside my chest.

"You don't remember?" Bex questioned. "Well I don't really either, all I know is that it was kick-ass."

"Zach carried you inside last night, you pasted out." Macey laughed. "Probably was having a little too much fun."

My eyes widened, "What do you mean?"

She smiled as she pointed at my chest, "Nice shirt."

My gaze went down to where she was pointing, to see that I was wearing Zach's flannel long sleeve shirt.

Then I remembered everything, and my whole stomach dropped.

Zach and I outside…me telling him my insecurities, him seeing the cuts, and worst of all- us kissing. It all flowed back to my head, causing heat to rise to my face in embarrassment. I started to tug on the sleeve.

Liz then came walking into the room. "Finally, everything is cleaned up."

She then plopped onto the couch next to Macey, and whispering, "This…this sucks."

Macey shrugged, "You'll feel better in a few hours."

Liz's eyes grew bigger, "Hours?"

A short laugh came from the hallway, "You guys look like hell!"

"Shut up Grant." Bex replied as she draped her arm over her eyes. "And shut those blinds."

Grant chuckled and obeyed what Bex had asked him to do.

"Where's Zach and Jonas?" Liz croaked out from under her blanket.

"Jonas was knocked out up stairs," Grant began.

Liz popped her head out of the blanket, "What do you mean 'knocked out'?"

"Long story." Grant lightly chuckled. "Anyways, Zach left last night."

My eyebrows knitted in concern as I blurred, "Why?"

Grant then spaced out, as if he was trying to remember exactly how everything went. "Last night, after he brought you inside he looked kind of strange. You know, a little concerning. So I asked him what it was all about but he just said he didn't feel like talking about it."

"Then about thirty minutes later or so- right after I broke the vase-" He sent an apologetic look towards Bex. "Sorry 'bout that."

Bex grunted, and Grant then continued. "His phone started to ring and I remember that because I started to dance to it and that's when he got all weird- well weirder then before. The phone call was about ten seconds long then BAM- he left without even saying goodbye."

Bex and I shared a glance and we both questioned, "Is he okay?"

"Probably."

Macey laughed. "Well that's assuring."

"Grant! He could be dead!" Liz theorized. "Or worst!"

Grant signed. "Fine, I'll go to his house- after I make some waffles-then I'll go."

"Grant."

"...But they're chocolate-chip."

Bex raised an eyebrow, and with that Grant signed and started heading for the door.

I started to worry, what if Zach wasn't okay? What if something really bad happened to him? And who called him? Could it be the same man who answered his phone the other day?

But before I could think about anything else, I remembered DeeDee.

"Crap." I whispered as I started patting around the couch for my phone.

"What?" Bex asked, turning her head slightly to me.

"Do you know what time it is?"

"Eh." She then pulled her phone out of her pocket. "Twelve-fourteen. Why?"

I groaned loudly. "I have to leave."

"Yeah, that's a good idea." Bex responded. "My parents will be home in about an hour. Have a nice time at...where ever you're going. It hurts to think."

I chuckled as I slowly got off of the couch and made my way to the doorway.

"Bye, Cammie." Liz muttered. "You're bag is at the door- I put it there this morning in case her parents came home early."

"Thanks, and bye Liz- bye Macey."

"Don't hit my car backing out." Macey mumbled.

I quickly laughed and picked up my bag. I then made my way to my car, Zach lingering on my mind.

...

DeeDee's house was probably something you thought you would see in Beverly Hills, and not a small town like Roseville.

Her house was a mansion, of course, with a huge iron gate surrounding all seventy acres of it. She had an outdoor swimming pool, Jacuzzi, and even a tennis court. Though no one in her family knows how to play tennis.

Huge trees and bushes eloped the Olsen household, making it look even more stunning. As well as the huge fountain that stood in the middle of her driveway.

I pulled up her long and beautiful driveway, I noticed that there were no decorations that I could see yet.

I slammed my door shut and made my way to her door, which was wooden and enormous.

Right when I was about to knock on the door, it opened right away with DeeDee smiling largely.

She opened her arms and shrieked,"Cammie!"

I winced, her voice slightly agitated my ears since I was still slightly hungover. "DeeDee..."

I embraced her in the huge and she quickly pulled away, her eyebrows raised.

"What?" I questioned.

"You smell like alcohol..." She then widened her eyes. "Are you hungover?"

I shrugged. "Short of."

"Oh. Well come in." She then slammed the door shut. "Let me show you what I got done so far."

...

Outside was amazing, there was tons of decoration and food. Also tons of alcohol, and looking at it made me cringe.

There was a huge banner that said: 'Happy Sweet Sixteen, DeeDee!'

"Wow." I stated, it was awesome. "It looks like you already have everything done."

"Yeah, I hired people last night to do it." She was acting strange again.

I nodded my head. "How many people are coming?"

She laughed. "Everyone."

I stared at her for a spilt moment until I questioned, "Are you okay, you seem strange."

"No," She waved her hand, like it was no big deal. "It's just that, well, tomorrow's my real birthday and my parents want to take me out for dinner, but they invited Dillion and his parents too and I really don't want to see him."

"Why would they bring them for your birthday?" I questioned.

She signed, "It's a business thing. I already asked Daddy to cancel on them, but he said that that's 'not an option' and blah blah blah. Whatever, I'm over it."

I sent her an apologetic smile, not really knowing what to say. "Are you sure you're over it?"

"I guess." She then snapped her head over to me, with her eyes wide. "If you went with it totally would be one hundred times better."

"I'm sorry, Dee. I would but Aunt Abby's coming tomorrow..."

"Oh."

A few minutes passed without a word said, until I remembered something. "Crap, I completely forgot. Do you want you're gift now or tomorrow?"

A small smile lit up her face as she replied, "Awh, that's so sweet of you Cam! How about tomorrow? I don't want to have it until my real birthday."

"Alright." I smiled back.

DeeDee then took a seat and gestured for me to do the same, and she called out, "Maria! Two sparkling waters!"

Maria was their maid/butler that Mr. Olsen hired, she's been around for about ever. "How has Maria been?"

DeeDee laughed, "Who cares."

"What's your problem?" I asked.

"My problem?" DeeDee raised her eyebrow.

"Yeah." I pointed out. "You've been acting strange for a while."

"Strange?" DeeDee laughed. "More like concerned."

"About what?"

"You."

My eyebrows raised, why would she be concerned for me?

"What do you mean, Dee?"

She shook her head, "Never mind, Cam. My guest have just arrived."

With that, DeeDee then jumped off of the chair and towards the house. The sun was almost set, and I had a feeling that tonight would not end good.

**...**

**Wow, not the best chapter. **

**However, the next will be gold. **

**I'm planning on updating TOMORROW! I swear of it. At like twelve at night though.**

**I apologize AGAIN for being so late at updating and everything. But things are settling down and I assure you that I will be updating once or twice a week! Which excites me! **

**I already have some of Chapter Ten done, and wow, let me tell you: I was so happy writing it- it was great. **

**What to expect: Josh, guilt, secrets, party, and betrayal. **

**Review (:**


	10. Chapter Ten

People say, 'Find the good people and leave the bad', but they should say 'Find the good in people and ignore the bad'. Nobody's perfect.

**Chapter Ten:**

As DeeDee went to greet the guest, I ran upstairs to her bedroom to find something else to change into. It wasn't that I thought I wasn't presentable or anything, it's just that explaining to Josh why I'm wearing some other guy's shirt is not something I really feel like doing. Actually, facing Josh is something I honestly do not feel like doing. How can you face the boy you supposedly love and confess how you kind of cheated on them? The answer is simple; you _can't__._ Because you're scared of how it will affect your relationship. But you _have_ to. You have to confess because it's not worth hiding it and feeling the pain that comes with it. And in all honesty, Josh is destined to discover it one day. Keeping secrets is something you shouldn't have to do in relationships- you're supposed to trust each other, and I do trust Josh, but I don't want to give him a reason not to trust me.

However I know explaining to Josh about the kiss shouldn't be complicated because it wasn't real. Zach and I have absolutely no feelings for each other. It was just a stupid kiss shared between two friends in a moment of drunken pity. Meaning that we obviously were both intoxicated and we kissed out of pity of the situation. Zach saw the scars and felt bad, that's the only reasonable explanation as to why he would kiss me.

Even though why Zach kissed me was quite clear, I couldn't explain to Josh why I kissed him back. Heck, I couldn't explain to myself. I could use the 'I was drunk' excuse, but it was more difficult than that. More complicated and complex than that. Because I didn't kiss him back because I was drunk- well I did, _at first_, kiss him back because I was drunk, but the feeling I felt during the kiss had nothing to do with the alcohol.

And I knew it.

My fingers rushed through my hair and pushed it away from my face as I signed in frustration. Everything that has happened to me I caused for myself. All the pain and complications- _I_ caused it for myself. So there was only one solution to everything, and that was that I had to dig myself out of my own mess. I had to confess everything and start to realize everything that has happened, happened for a reason.

Like the dream.

I still could hear my Father's dim voice calling out to me, _'Do not believe in it.'_

No matter how many I tried to know what the words meant, it didn't matter. It didn't matter because I simply couldn't know and wasn't meant to know, and that was okay.

Once I got to DeeDee's closet I began to skim the racks for something to throw on, and as I did I heard the noise downstairs begin to grow louder. Music started to blare and I heard the muffled voices of people talking. _A lot_ of people talking.

My eyes came across a light blue long sleeved blouse, and I scavenged a pair of jet black leggings, as well as a pair of dark gray boots. It was appropriate for the occasion, and it was decent looking on me.

I hurried to pick my clothes off her closet floor and to stuff them in my bag. However, as I was folding them I caught myself staring at Zach's flannel. This only caused my thoughts to become occupied with Zach.

I felt myself bite my lip in frustration. Maybe I should call Grant and ask if he was okay, or maybe I should just wait until the morning. If Zach wasn't okay then I probably would have heard of it by now.

But for some reason, I didn't care. I found myself picking up the phone after I finally stuffed his shirt into my bag.

My hands froze as I began to text him. I had no clue how to even start a conversation with him after what happened last night.

So I decided just to let it go.

I locked my phone and within an instant the screen went completely black, kind of like my mind at the moment. Blank and empty.

I then shoved my phone into my back pocket and left my mind to be blank for the moment.

I would tell Josh about what happened, but just not today.

Today was DeeDee's day, and I have no intentions on ruining it.

…

"Oh yeah, baby!" Dillon shouted. "Who's the king?!"

People surrounded Dillon and some other kids from Blackthorne as they play a game of the infamous beer pong.

Hundreds of teenagers filled the Olsen house inside and out, and more than half of them drunk out of their minds. Fortunately I wasn't a part of that half nor did I have any plans to be.

I jumped slightly as I felt a pair of arms wrap tightly around my waist, and they whispered in my ear, "I missed you, babe."

I felt a small smile appear on my lips as I replied, "I missed you too, Josh."

"Good." As he said it I smelt a short but heavy stench of beer and chocolate- an absolute horrible combination to smell, and probably eat.

"Hey lover-boy!" Dillon shouted. "How 'bout quit makin' out with your girl and help me beat these sorry bastards?"

Josh flashed Dillon a wide grin as he replied, "It'd be my honor!"

Josh then gave me a sloppy kiss on the mouth and whispered, "Don't worry, I'll be back."

I smiled abruptly, and as I watched him walk away I couldn't help but to feel a pang of disgust. But not for him, but for me.

The more I thought about how I basically cheated, the more pain I felt. I needed to tell Josh, I needed to let it go. And once the truth comes out of my mouth I swear to be nothing but faithful to Josh.

I watched Josh and Dillon play beer pong for a few more minutes, until I decided to leave and discover more of the party.

…

It was now around elven o' clock, and the party was amazing- probably the best I had ever seen.

Everyone was either dancing or swimming, and more the definitely drinking. Tonight it seemed as if everyone was letting go and being careless, and sadly, that included DeeDee.

"Cammmmieeee!" DeeDee shrieked once she saw me enter the backyard.

DeeDee stood in the middle of a huge crowd of fakes and wanna-bes. And as I walked closer to them they all flashed me there fake smiles and quickly brought their attentions back to DeeDee.

"Hey, Dee." I replied as I came closer towards her, noticing how exceptionally red her eyes were and how badly she was slurring and swaying her body.

She draped her small and fragile arm around my shoulders and pointed to me as she slurred, "I love you sssssssoooooo much, Cam!"

I laughed, "I love you too."

"You're my bestest friend!"

I nodded my head, "You're my best friend too, DeeDee. Maybe we should get you inside or maybe to sleep."

DeeDee then pouted, "Noooo! It's my birthday!"

"I know, Dee, but you're already terribly wasted."

She stared at me for a minute until she released a small sign. "I'm only listening to you because you're my bestest friend."

"I know."

She then waved to the few girls who still surrounded her, "Night ya'll!"

…

Once I got DeeDee to her room, she jumped onto her bed, and quickly jumped right off it.

I signed in frustration, but I didn't say anything. DeeDee was too wasted.

I sat down on her desk chair and continued to watch her as she began to dance. Until she stopped, and stared down at the small wooden table next to her bed.

I saw a quick frown fall upon her face, and she quickly picked up what seemed to be a picture frame and threw it at the wall.

The sound caused me to jump, and I watched in awe as the glass broke apart and flew into a hundred pieces.

"DeeDee!" I shouted. "Why would you do that?!"

_Because she drunk, _I answered to myself. I didn't expect a response either, I just got up from the chair and began picking up the pieces of the broken frame that I could as DeeDee just watched me do so, not muttering a single word.

I picked up the picture frame, and saw a picture of her parents and her behind the streaks of broken glass.

I dropped it onto the wooden table again, and once I did DeeDee stated, "I hate them."

"Who?"

She started to rub her hands along her comforter as she lowly replied, "My parents."

As I opened my mouth to reply, she cut me off.

"My 'friends'," She continued and did air quotes around friends. "Dillon."

Tears then flowed down her cheek, and I sat down on the bed next to her and wrapped my arms around her small body. "It's okay, Dee. Everything is okay."

"No." She spit out. "Nothing for me is okay. But I wouldn't expect someone like you to understand."

I felt myself question, "What do you mean 'someone like me'?"

She released a humorless laugh, "You know, Miss-I'm-so-great. Miss-I-get-everything-I-want. Miss…Miss. Perfection!"

My mouth suddenly felt very dry as I replied, "You know nothing about me, DeeDee. Just keep that in mind."

"No, Cammie!" DeeDee shouted. "You don't know me either!"

She then jolted up and began to go crazy. She pushed everything off of her desk, threw her lamp at the wall, and then pulled her dresser drawers out and threw the clothes all over.

I watched in awe, not knowing completely what was happening.

She then head for the closet, and I jumped off of the bed and followed her. "DeeDee, please just calm down!"

When I made it to her closet, I saw her in the very corner holding what seemed to be a book in her hands, and she was just staring at it.

I slowly walked towards her, and once I made it to her, I dropped down and sat in front of her.

She, for once, looked completely terrible. Mascara leaked down her very red face, her hair stood up in a million different directions, and she looked as if she escaped from a psych ward.

And out of everything, I felt myself laugh.

But it stopped once DeeDee's eyes broke contact with the book she held in her hands and she then stared directly into my eyes.

"Cammie." DeeDee's voice sounded empty.

"Yes?"

She then placed the book- no _journal _in front of me. "Read it."

The journal was pink, and it had the initials _D.O _on it, standing for DeeDee Olsen.

I shook my head. "Dee, I'm not reading your journal."

As I went to place it back onto her lap her small hand quickly grabbed mine, and her eyes peered into mine as she whispered, "Turn to page seventeen."

At first I wasn't going to read it, but as I stared into her eyes I felt myself opening the journal.

I quickly flipped to page seventeen, and began reading.

…

_(17) 12-06-03_

_Dear Diary, _

_After school today, I saw something really really bad. Like really really really super bad. I forgot mr. bear in mr. solomon's room, so I ran from daddys car to the room. That is when I saw what was really super bad. I thinked at first that it was okay, but then I told mommy and she said it was not okay and that it was really super bad and she made me promise that I would never tell anyone about it. And she said ispeacialie not cammie…I saw mr. solomon and cammies mom kissing on his desk! No one can ever know, and never cammie._

…

My eyes stung, and I felt nothing as I stared at the page.

This couldn't be true…we never lived in Roseville until I was eight. Dad was buried in New York and we all lived in New York until I was eight!

"This is not true, DeeDee." I whispered once I looked up at her. "Why…how…how did you know who I was? How did you know my Mother? Why did you make this up?"

She shook her head. "Cammie, you used to visit my family here in Roseville when you were six until you were seven. I know you remember that."

I couldn't speak. Yes, I did kind of remember visiting a little girl and her parents every summer and rarely in the school year. But this couldn't be true- it just was impossible.

I shook my head, "No."

"Yes." DeeDee signed. "I couldn't hide it anymore. I saw your mom having an affair with my teacher."

"No." I continued to shake my head.

I went to slam the book, but she put her hand in the book so it wouldn't slam, and she slurred, "Page thirty-one."

I glanced down at the journal, and for some reason, I opened it to page thirty-one.

_(31) 10-23-12 _

_Dear Diary, _

_Today I did something I regret. Today I did something terribly wrong. _

_Josh kissed me, and I kissed him back. It should have remained as simple as that. _

_But it didn't. _

_He brought me back to his house, and at first it was just cuddling…but it did not remain as that simple. _

_We were on the sofa, and…we…we had se-_

…

My mouth fell open, and I snapped my head up towards DeeDee. "Is this some kind of sick joke?"

Tears slowly traveled down DeeDee's face, and she wouldn't meet my eyes.

"DeeDee." I spat out. "What is going on? Why did you write those things?"

"I'm so sorry, Cammie." DeeDee whispered.

Silence filled the air between us, until I found the nerve to whisper, "Is it true?"

DeeDee started to nod her head uncontrollably, and that's when she started bawling. Tears came rushing down her cheeks, and she started to cradle herself as she whispered repeatedly, "I'm sssoooo sorry."

I felt the journal drop from my hands, and it fell with a soft bang onto the floor.

I didn't feel anything. I was completely numb.

My ears were taken over by the sound of DeeDee sobbing mixed in with the loud thumping of my heart.

I stood there for what seemed like hours. Just letting everything sink in.

That's when my feet started to carry me away, where? It didn't matter. Just anywhere but there.

…

**TWO UPDATES IN ONE DAY? I think so. **

**I have to say I'm quite proud of this chapter, but I'm so very excited for the next! **

**Things are what they seem, people! Keep that in mind. **

**What to expect:**

**Drama, drama, drama. **

**Sorry, no spoilers. (:**

**Review!**


	11. Chapter Eleven

Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect, and I don't live to be. But before you start pointing your fingers, make sure your hands are clean.

-Bob Marley

**Chapter Eleven:**

As every car zoomed by, I felt a slight rush of cold wind pass me by. I saw the lights on the black pavement of the road, and I heard the honking of the cars as well as the shrieking of tires.

But no matter what noise I heard, what I saw, or what I felt, I still couldn't grasp the fact that I was awake. That what happened about forty minutes ago at DeeDee's party actually happened.

Everything felt different as I continued to walk on the gravel shoulder of the road, as if my world was simply in slow-motion. My eyes were oddly heavy and my mouth was overly dry, but at the moment, I didn't pay attention to that. I didn't pay attention to anything- I just simply continued to walk.

My car was back in the Olsen's driveway blocked in between to SUV's, and my phone only had ten percent battery left. So calling someone for a ride might seem like something I should be doing, but my hands wouldn't leave my side to grab my phone out of my back pocket and dial a number.

The feeling stirring within me was rare to me, but nevertheless, it was quite known. The feeling occurred once before, and that was the night I discovered the death of my father.

Once I was told of the death of my father, this feeling came rushing towards me and enveloped me whole.

The day my father died it was a Thursday and I was told of his death in the late afternoon of the following Friday when I was continuously asking my mother why he wasn't home yet.

Her exact words were: "Your father will not be coming back home, Cameron." At the moment, once the words left her mouth, I still did not fully understand. I didn't understand why he wasn't coming home, but regardless, I didn't need her to tell me why in words. Because from that pacific moment- I soon became aware.

My mother's eyes, though it may seem hard to believe, once were full of light. Happiness more like it, but once she told me he wouldn't be coming home, I felt a change in the atmosphere. Like gravity stopped, and the world decided to rotate the opposite way and tilt my world upside down in the process. But most importantly, I saw the change in her light caramel eyes; they were empty.

And from that, not only did I know something was terribly wrong, but I saw the liveliness drain from her, and to this day, she still remains the same.

The feeling that I felt once she told me he wouldn't be coming back was complete numbness. I was numb, not just outside but inside too.

I didn't feel anything.

I just didn't know what to feel. Confused? Shocked? Sad? Maybe Angry? But DeeDee's journal might have been false; maybe the things she wrote might have been a twisted prank. Maybe I just didn't want to know the truth.

Or maybe I just didn't want to believe the truth; that Josh really did cheat on me with my best friend or that my mother had an affair with some elementary school teacher. Maybe the truth wasn't worth knowing.

Maybe there is more truth than lies in the world, and just maybe light ruled more hearts than darkness. But from what I experienced throughout the damned seventeen years of life, I would beg to differ.

I felt myself shivering slightly from the chilly winds of the October fall night, but I tried my best to ignore it as I continued down the long road.

As it continued to get later, less and less cars traveled down the road. Some honked as they went by and a few even attempted to stop, but scurried off. I didn't take the time to stop and explain myself to them, I didn't have to.

As my thoughts began to fade, and I began to zone off into the darkness, I barely noticed the truck that swerved a few feet in front of me and turn off the engine- but I soon did.

I stopped in my tracks and watched the truck immensely, and oddly enough, I felt my heart begin to beat faster as my mind began to fill with bad thoughts.

What if it was some kidnapper or murderer? No one from the party would know where I was or even care.

My feet began to slowly step back, and the truck door swung open and a dark figure that seemed like a man came out.

I heard their feet start to slowly walk on the gravel and towards me, and they stopped at the end of the truck, but I more quickly started to back up.

"Cammie?" A husky voice asked, causing me to stop.

I squinted my eyes, trying to see more the figure more clearly through the pitch darkness of the night.

"Cammie, its Zach."

The dark figure took a few more steps towards me, and my eyes soon adjusted to the darkness and I soon discovered from the muscular and lean outline that the figure actually was Zach.

After a few seconds of continuous silence, he spoke up again, "Why are you walking on the side of the road at one in the morning?"

I felt my mouth open, but I didn't know how to respond. Was I supposed to tell him how DeeDee got drunk and revealed a few secrets that might change my life completely? Or that I honestly didn't know why I still was walking in the middle of nowhere or where I was even walking?

I shuttered as my mind went completely blank, "I-I don't really...know."

I felt his eyes study me closely for a few second that seemed like eternity, until he nodded to his truck and stated, "Com' on, I'm taking you home."

I didn't protest, I just listened. He jumped into the truck and I did the same- but I didn't fully know why.

...

Silence consumed us, not a single word was spoken. But I guess that was okay. Talking was over-rated, and you know it's worthless if it takes an effort.

My eyes were glued to the window, just watching the dark scenery blur as we sped by.

Zach's hand went to the heat nob and turned it over, as heat began to blow from the small vents in front of us, "You're probably freezing."

I muttered softly, "Yeah."

In the corner of my eye I studied Zach closely; from his dark eyes to his broad shoulders. But what I caught myself really staring at were his lips, and as I did one thought flew throughout my mind;

We kissed, we kissed, we kissed.

Just by the sight of his lips I recalled everything that happened the night before: the alcohol, the questions, his lips on mine...

But more importantly, he saw the scars.

I remember me being there, without a shirt but I don't know why or how, and him seeing something I prayed no one would ever see. But because of my stupidity- he did.

He saw the scars and he heard the truth.

My eyes then snapped back towards the window, and I felt heat rush to my cheeks in embarrassment.

In a split second, I caused the air surrounding us to go from regular silence, to awkward silence.

An awkward silence he would never understand the meaning of. He never will understand those scars and the pain that caused them, and I don't expect him to. I don't expect him to mention them either, because Josh actually saw the scars before- once when we first starting dating.

I know he saw them, and Josh knew he saw them too. Maybe part of me wished for him to see them, to speak up and help me when I couldn't.

But he didn't.

We were at his house, sitting on his couch in his room as we watched some cheesy movie. We were snuggling as he played with my hands and whispered sweet nothings.

It was great, a moment that all teenage girls dream of having with their boyfriends; a cute, fluffy moment with nothing but laughter and flirting.

When he was playing with my fingers, my large sleeve shirt began to roll down, and I felt it begin to slide down my wrist slowly, but I didn't stop it. I felt his eyes on my wrist like fire as it did, and I didn't say a single word. I felt a selfishness take over me; I wanted him to see them. To help me out of that dark hole I was in.

His eyes studied my wrist for a split second, before he dropped my hand and as he got up to 'find a better movie to watch' I felt my heart sink to the ground.

All the hope I had to get better was sucked out of me, and once I got home, I added a few more scars and burns to the collection.

Not once did Josh ever mention them again, or even cared.

"Cammie," Zach's voice cut through the silence, interrupting my thoughts and causing me to jump slightly. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I spoke, avoiding eye contact as the lie flew off my tongue. "I'm fine."

A humorless and short laugh escaped his lips, "Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying."

"Something's wrong." Zach stated as his eyes pierced into mine. "Did something happen at the party?"

I shook my head slightly, and turn towards the window- breaking away from his gaze, "Let it go, Zach."

"You can tell me." Threw the reflection I saw his jaw slightly clench in annoyance, and his voice got louder as he continued, "Did Josh-"

"I don't want to talk about it!" I snapped. "Just let it go."

He opened his mouth to speak, but thought better of it and closed his mouth. His eyes then stayed on the road, and silence surrounded us again- which was how I preferred it.

...

"We're here." Zach announced as he pulled into my driveway and put the truck in park.

I nodded, "Thanks for driving me home."

"Anytime." He replied as my hand grasped the handle of the door. "If you ever need help or anything...I'm here."

His eyes peered into mine, and I nodded softly, "I know."

However I didn't. I didn't know who to trust and who to love. I was simply lost.

Once I made my way to the front door, I noticed that my mother wasn't home. She probably left to get Aunt Abby from the airport.

I reach down into my pocket to grab my keys, but that's when I noticed they weren't there.

I then checked my back pockets and even my shoes. I stared hopelessly at the door until I realized the only other place my keys could be; my purse. I left my purse at DeeDee's.

"Great, just freaking great." I mumbled to myself as I took a seat on the concrete steps that led to my front door.

Zach's truck was still in the driveway, waiting patiently to see me enter the door.

But it never happened.

I heard Zach's truck window roll down as he shouted, "What are you doing?"

"I left my keys at DeeDee's." I answered quietly, but loud enough that he heard.

"Alright, I'll drive you back to Dee-"

"No!" I shouted. I wasn't intending for it to be that loud, but it just escaped my lips. "No, I just don't feel like going back there. I'm tired."

Zach studied me closely, "Well what are you going to do then?"

I shrugged, "Wait for my mother."

"That could take hours."

"So?"

"So get in. You can stay at my house for the rest of the night." I heard him reply as he unlocked the doors. "I'll drive you home in the morning."

I glanced back at the door as I thought about the situation. He's right; she probably would take hours to get home. But conversing with Zach is something I want to avoid.

It'd be simple; he'd take me to his house and I'd sleep on the couch or something without conversation and leave bright and early- very simple.

"Alright..." I replied as I began to walk back to his truck.

Maybe too simple.

...

We started to pull up into a long gravel driveway that was densely surrounded with miles and miles of trees.

The gravel made the tires make rough noises, and to any other person, everything might have seemed creepy; maybe even like a death trap. But to me it was peaceful- something that is very rare to acquire.

We soon reached a small partly log cabin house. It had few lanterns that hung from small metal post that lit up dimly in the dark night.

"We're here." Zach stated as he took the keys out of the engine and began heading towards the house, in which I followed behind closely, not knowing if it was a good idea or not.

...

**I apologize that I did not update this as soon as I was expecting, and also that I said that I was going to update more like I expected.**

**Please keep reading and bearing with me! Thank you all so much for already doing so and hopefully continuing!**

...

_**If you happen to review, would you be so kind to add in your answers to this survey? This is just a few questions that I have been wondering about, and I would appreciate it to beyond and back if you would tell me your thoughts!**_

_**1.) Which point of view do you prefer?**_

_**A) First person**_

_**B) Third person**_

_**C) Objective**_

_**D) Omniscient**_

_**E) Limited Omniscient**_

_**2.) What genre do you enjoy most?**_

_**A) Drama**_

_**B) Hurt/Comfort**_

_**C) Romance**_

_**D) Adventure**_

_**E) Other (Explain if so)**_

_**3.) Would you take interest in a story on FanFiction that did not have the two main characters in an intimate relationship if there was to be one? (Ex: Cammie and an author's own character)**_

_**A) No**_

_**B) Yes**_

_**C) Maybe**_

_**D) Depends (Explain if so)**_

_**4.) How do you feel about the causal relationships with the Gallagher Girls series characters? (Ex: Bex/Grant, Liz/Jonas, Cammie/Zach, etc.)**_

_**A) I think they are cheesy and unrealistic.**_

_**B) I like the relationships because it is with Ally Carter's known character and not another author's unknown character.**_

_**C) I really do not care for who the characters are matched with.**_

_**D) Other (Explain if so)**_

_**5.) How do you feel about the casual attitudes that the Gallagher Girls series characters are given by most authors? (Ex: Macey: boy/fashion expert, Zach: cocky, Liz: sweet and innocent, etc.)**_

_**A) I don't really mind it.**_

_**B) I like those attitudes/personalities because it fits them and I couldn't see them any other way.**_

_**C) I dislike them and believe that they are too casual and it makes the story too predictable.**_

_**D) Other (Explain if so)**_

_**6.) What propels you to review?**_

_**A) If the story is appealing, than I definitely will.**_

_**B) I always review regardless if the story appeals to me, I just review my thoughts and helpful criticism.**_

_**C) I don't review.**_

_**D) Other (Explain if so)**_


	12. Chapter Twelve

**"**We come to love not by _finding_ the_ perfect_ person, but by _learning_ to see an _imperfect_ person perfectly.**"**

-Angelina Jolie

**Chapter Twelve:**

Inside Zach's house, at first, it seemed to have a cold, empty feeling to it. As if there was nothing but bad memories roaming the house in secrecy and only Zach himself could see them. But perhaps every home has a few scars inside, just like every human has a few scars and bad memories hidden within them.

Once Zach flickered a few light switches on I saw that we were in a small entry way that lead into the living room, which was full of a couple nice couches, a few small coffee and end tables, and some knickknacks scattered around.

"You're house is really nice." I complemented as I felt nervousness in the pit of my stomach, and that brought the thoughts about how bad of an idea this was. That I should have probably just stayed and waited for my mother.

A slight smile outlined Zach's face as he replied, "I guess Jonas was wrong."

My eyebrows knitted in confusion, "What are you talking about?"

"He said that after a few days with us you'd loose the etiquette," He had a small smile playing on his lips, and he then began walking towards the living room as he continued, "Guess he actually miscalculated something in his life."

I shrugged. "It's hard to loose the way you have been trained to be ever since you were born."

Zach narrowed his dark eyes, a humorless laugh escaping his lips. "I think I would know."

"What do you mean?"

Something came across Zach. Something I don't think I'd ever know nor understand. He just stared at the ground, jaw clenched. But as soon as he showed a tiny bit of emotion, even if it was just a bit of feeling, he covered it up, making it seem as if it never even appeared.

I studied him as he seemed to be lost in thought. I noticed he would suddenly shut down when something about him came up, or even something that reminded himself of his past.

I reached towards him, but I thought better of it.

"Zach...what's wrong?" I questioned, my eyes still taking in his demeanor. Noticing how dark and detached he always was.

He seemed to always be in a dark room, surrounded by nothing by the pitch blackness. But he seemed to want to find light, to be saved.

I couldn't help but to feel pain and pity mixed together as I watched him.

I want him to find light. I want him to be happy for once.

Before I could think or say anything else, he forced a faint smile that soon disappeared, "Nothing. Just follow me."

Maybe Zach and I aren't so different after all.

He quickly walked up the dark wooden stairs and I followed right behind him. I trailed behind him until we stopped at a door all the way at the end of the hallway.

He opened the door and as he did a gush of cold air came rushing out. The room was a dark as it was outside.

"I'll be right back." Zach merely stated as he left the room.

I watched him leave for a moment, but then my eyes searched the room. The room was a small, containing a twin bed and a rug with one tiny window. The walls were clean, with nothing on them or any paint. All together, the room seemed very plain and depressing.

I still was silently debating whether or not this was a great idea. Regardless of what happened just the other night.

Zach knew too much, and every person knows that when someone knows too much about a person, that they either begin to talk about the person or talk as if they know someone's whole story.

But that was the thing, Zach didn't know my story. He just knew a few bad things that I rather have kept to myself, but alcohol has a tendency of doing that you; making you speak your sober thoughts and feelings.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized I didn't know Zach that much either. Sure I knew a few things that he was willing to speak of, maybe just because of the pity of the moment, but that was it.

In all reality, I knew not one hard fact about Zachary Goode.

I heard Zach's faint footsteps, and within a few seconds he was back in the room with large long sleeve T-shirt and a pair of baggy and dull plaid pajama pants, which both were for men.

"You can wear these," Zach stated as he handed me the items. "They'll be big on you but I figured they'd be better to sleep in than what your in."

"Thanks," I awkwardly replied as I grabbed the items. "These will do."

Zach nodded and headed towards the door, "Just open the door when you're done."

He then left the room, shutting the door lightly behind him as I pulled off DeeDee's clothes and boots as I tried to block out the thoughts of her and Josh together.

Once I finished changing, I observed myself the best I could since there was no mirror. I realized that this could be the most comfortable thing I ever wore, regardless of the fact that I probably looked like a homeless boy in them.

I opened the door, and leaning against the hallway wall was Zach with a few things stuffed in his arms.

He smiled lightly and then came into the room.

"Here," Zach then put the blankets on the bed. "You'll sleep here. If you need anything I'll be sleeping on the couch."

"No it's okay; I can sleep on the couch." I replied.

"No." Zach answered as he stared back, and I saw the small glare of moonlight hitting his flawless face.

I opened my mouth to protest, but before I could he interfered, "Cam, please don't argue. You're too stubborn for your own good."

His dark eyes peered into mine, and I felt something change in the air around us. I also realized that out of all the things I wanted, what I wanted the most was for Zach not to leave me.

"Alright," Zach then made his way to the door. "I'll be downstairs if you need me."

He was halfway out the door, until I felt myself shout, "Wait!"

I then noticed how odd that sounded, making my cheeks redden slightly as he trailed back into the room, his hand still on the door handle.

"Yeah?"

"Um." I felt trapped in my own stupidity. "Do you...I mean, will you be able to take me home at like seven tomorrow? I just need to be home before my mother gets home and all."

Zach nodded, "Sure, I'll take you home whenever."

"Thanks."

He nodded again, "Yep."

He then began to leave again, but I stopped him, "Zach?"

Once again, he popped back into the room and raised an eyebrow. "Yes, Cammie?"

"I just want to thank you for being a great friend and everything." I quickly spat out, and once I did, I mentally slapped myself as I realized how stupid I sounded again.

A slight half smile was on his lips, "Anytime."

I still stood in the same place as I did once we got inside his room, not moving an inch and probably looking uncomfortable. But that wasn't it. I wasn't uncomfortable.

I didn't want to be alone.

Zach eyes stared into mine as he stood at the door, studying me, "Are you sure that's the reason you called me back in?"

I felt my lips tremble slightly, not knowing what to say or how to say it. But somehow and for some reason, I did.

"Will you...stay?" Once the question left my lips, I found myself regretting it right after. I saw an odd look on his face, and I quickly tried to save myself.

"Uh, I mean, are you-"

Zach merely smirked as he listened to me mumble on and on and on until he simply states, "Sure."

And with that, I find myself sleeping on the bed, with Zach on the floor next to me.

*****

I was sitting at a round, white wooden table. Sitting with me was my mother and my father.

The table was located right in the middle of our kitchen. But the difference is that this was our table and our kitchen in New York.

In New York, when things were happy.

We were all holding hands, and smiling and laughing for no reason. But I didn't care, it was all perfect.

"Have you ever seen a prettier sight, Camster?" My father asked as he held up an off white baseball. Baseball was my dad's favorite sport, I remember how once baseball season would start up, he would bring me to at least one Yankees game.

We would eat corn dogs and drink Coca-Cola, and we made a tradition out of it.

"Never, daddy." I replied with a sloppy smile

My mother had a wide grin that spread from ear to ear, and I saw something I thought I would never see again; the light and liveliness in her eyes.

But all of a sudden, there was a big bang, and I saw the happiness escaped from my mother's eyes, and fear replace it.

A man, dressed in all black appeared; he stood in front of us all. Smiling deviously as he turned his head to the side.

I felt fear blow up inside me, but I didn't know why. I didn't know what was there to fear.

Within a split second, my father was on his knees in front of the man, with his head facing towards the floor.

The man then pulled out a gun. It was as black as him.

"No!" I felt myself scream.

"Help him Cameron!" My mother shouted. "Save him, Cameron!"

I felt myself freeze- I didn't know what I could possibly do.

But before I could do anything, the man put the tip of the gun onto his head and pulled the trigger- sending blood everywhere.

"No, no, no!" I felt myself scream again, frozen in place.

My father fell to the ground, and the man disappeared, leaving my mother on the floor screaming at the sight of his dead body.

"It's your fault!" My mother screamed to me. "You killed him!"

Confusion flew over me, but then I looked down at my hands to notice I was holding a weapon.

The gun.

I killed my father.

****

"Cammie!" I heard my name being called as I felt something strong wrapped around me.

"No, no, no!"

"Sh, Cammie it's okay." The voice whispered into my ear as they stroked my hair. "It's just a dream."

I felt tears rolling down my face, as I felt a mixture of relief and pain. Pain that shouldn't be there. But who was I kidding, the pain was alway there.

"No..." I felt myself whisper, however I didn't know why.

A hand continued to stroke my hair, "Everything's okay."

I opened my eyes, and for a moment everything was okay. Until I looked next to me, only to see Zach.

To be more exact; a shirtless Zach whose strong arms were holding me tightly.

"Zach?" I whispered, not wanting to move, but knowing I should.

"It's okay, Cammie." I felt him release a breath. "Everything's okay, it's just a dream."

I turned towards him, breaking the contact between his arms and my waist. I didn't say a word; I just stared back at him.

"I'm sorry." I quietly mumbled.

His tum then whipped my cheek and the tear that was slowly coming down, "Why are you sorry? You did nothing wrong."

I stuttered as I replied, "I-I'm a mess."

He shook his head, his voice soft as he whispered, "You're not a mess, Cammie. You're just sad."

I shook my head. "My whole life's a mess."

Zach slowly nodded his head. "I know."

"Yes." I felt myself whisper, answering his pondering question from the night before.

His eyebrows knitted in confusion as he question, "Yes what?"

"Yes," I started, my voice cracking slightly. "Yes, I stopped."

At first, by his eyes, I could tell he didn't know what I meant. But after a few seconds, realization washed over him and he knew perfectly well.

That's when I felt his hand grab my wrist and pull my arm out from the covers, and reluctantly, I tried pulling my arm back as I whispered fiercely, "No."

However, he didn't listen. He pulled my arm out of the cover, and I felt myself allowing him.

His hand took the large sleeve of the shirt and pushed it up, and I looked away. I didn't want to see him stare at them, but even as I avoided looking, I still felt his eyes searching my arm.

Then I felt a sudden movement on them, and I realized they were his fingers brushing over them slowly.

"That night," Zach started as he continued to slowly brush over them. "I asked you to swear to me you'd never do something like this again."

I nodded my head, "I remember."

He continued, "But you never replied."

"I know."

His eyes left my arm and met with mine, "Now I want you to promise me. Promise me that you'll never harm yourself again."

I didn't answer. I didn't want to answer. Because in all honesty, promises are destined to be broken.

Zach's eyes stared into mine, and I swear I saw a change in them. Like something I never saw within them before.

"Promise me." He whispered. "Swear never to do anything like this again."

"I..." Can't. "Promise."

I can't.

I then felt heat on my arm, and I then noticed his lips gingerly kissing each and every one of my scars carefully, as if they were made of glass.

The sun was almost up. I could tell by the soft light that peered in from his small window.

"Do you remember that night?" Zach questioned softly, his lips next to my ear. He distracts me. From my life, from my worries, from my pain.

And I liked it.

"Mostly." I answered honestly, but the more I thought about it the more I wish I didn't have any memory of it. I wanted to forget it all. Forget all the pain and bad memories and just stay in this moment.

I wanted to forget all about Josh and DeeDee. I wanted to forget about the stupid birthday party. I wanted to forget everything and everyone.

To just live and savor the moment I was in.

"You told me some awful things." Zach began as he played with a strand of my hair. "You told me you didn't think you were beautiful."

I opened my mouth, but then slammed it shut. Not knowing what to say. To tell him that all in all, I just told him the truth.

"Then I kissed you." Zach continued as his eyes peered into mine. "Do you remember that?"

I felt my heart pounding in my chest. This moment I was trying to avoid, but I knew it wasn't possible. I knew I couldn't make Zach forget about the things I said and did, what he saw and heard, or what he did and what I immediately did back.

There seemed to be a fire within my throat as I replied, "Yes."

"I know you regret that night." Zach stated. "But I don't regret a thing."

My mouth opened to say something- anything, but nothing came out. Maybe I should have told him that I didn't regret that night; but I would be lying.

I regretted what I said. I didn't regret the kiss.

Not anymore, honestly, maybe I never truly did.

Zach then whispered, "We should get some sleep, we only have about an hour left."

Dumbfounded, I nodded my head, as I continued to avoid thinking.

"Good night, Cammie."

I replied softly, "Good night, Zach."

Zach's arms were still wrapped around me, I could feel his chest against mine going up and down.

The room was completely silent, and that was when I realized that I never imagined my life to be like this.

I never expected any of this to happen. I never expected to feel so much pain and suffering, and I never expected to feel abandon and lost.

But never did I ever expect to feel what I was feeling now.

Like somebody finally cares.

****  
**A/N: This chapter had been edited! Thank you for all the reviews!**


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**"**Never leave a true relation for a few faults. Nobody is perfect and nobody is correct, and at the end _affection_ is better than _perfection_.**"**

-Unknown

**Chapter Thirteen:**

I felt my body shake slightly, "Cammie..."

My eyes slowly fluttered open, and in front of me I saw Zach. His face was a short distance away, but I could see the specks of dark blue in his eyes perfectly.

His eyes always seemed to be nothing but pools of darkness, but with the faint light that escaped into his room I could see the flecks of different auras of navy and shades of reddish gold swirl around.

My eyes quickly flickered from his shamelessly magnificent eyes to his lightly colored lips. I couldn't help but to realize how flawless his whole demeanor really was.

If I didn't know any better, I would even go as far as labeling him as perfect.

The corners of his lips started to rise into a small smirk. My eyes glanced back up to his eyes, that where currently already focused on me.

I felt my cheeks filled with heat, realizing that I was just full blown checking him out, legitimately directly in front of him.

The dim smirk still lingered on his lips as he whispered, "We need to be leaving soon if you want to get home before your mom."

My legs were tangled within the white sheets, and my head was still resting on his pillow, my hair all tangled and frizzy flowing out beside me.

My make up was probably smeared, and I most likely looked terrible. But honestly, something rare washed over me like a tidal wave. It hit me like one too; I didn't care.

I didn't care how I looked momentarily, something about the way the atmosphere emanated around us and how light and careless the room felt made me feel that way.

My hand ran throughout my hair as I thought about what he just said. "You're right. Just a few more seconds..."

I closed my eyes, and a few minutes later I felt weight being lifted off the mattress, and I opened my eyes again to see Zach's bare back as went to grab his shirt from the floor.

I couldn't help but to notice the scattered bruises dotting his back, the amount and seriousness of the bruises worsening as they reached his rib cage.

My eyes widened and I felt my heart stop. I covered my mouth with my hand to prevent a gasp from escaping.

I manifested the energy to jump up from his bed, simply watching him cover himself with his T-shirt.

My feet managed to silently sneak up behind him. I didn't even think twice as my cold hands lifted up the back of his shirt, just to get one closer look.

I felt him tense, from surprise or it dawning on him what I just saw, I didn't know. Maybe a little bit of both.

From a closer perspective, I could see the colors of faded green and yellow from the older bruises, and I could see the newer as well as enormous bruises that were vivid with a blend of purple and blue. I could also spot out fresh gashes and scars that marked his skin from long ago.

I didn't even know what questions to start asking, I was simply lost in shock and astonishment.

But before I could even manage a syllable off of my tongue, I felt both of my wrist engulfed by warm bodies of heat.

Zach was now facing me, his shirt returning back down and his face masked with what seemed to be bewilderment and even a hint of confusion.

His hands were wrapped around my wrist, and as he opened his mouth to speak I beat him to it.

"How?" I finally quivered.

"Cammie-"

"How, Zach?" My voice was beginning to rise. "How did you get them Zach!"

His hands slowly released both of my wrist, I felt the heat from them slowly become replaced with coldness.

I saw his face morph from his slight openness right back to his usual mask he would display whenever he felt vulnerable. His usual plain and detached disposition quickly covered whatever emotion he was about to expose.

"It doesn't matter." He started to walk towards the door. "Change into your clothes and meet me by the door. We'll leave in five minutes."

"What do you mean it 'doesn't matter'? Because it surely matters Zach! I'm not going to just igno-"

Before I could finish, Zach's cool and collected voice simply stated, "Leave it alone, Cammie."

With that, he left, slamming the door silently behind him.

****

About ten minutes later, I was fully changed in DeeDee's clothes and Zach and I were both in his truck sitting in silence.

Several possibilities of what could have happened to him raced throughout my mind; maybe he was jumped, maybe he was even in a car accident or some other type of accident.

But even if those suggestions were right, I wouldn't know about it. That was just the secretive Zach.

Even after everything I showed him, even after I opened up to him, both the drunken night and last night, he still wouldn't open up to me.

The only thing Zach ever had told me about himself was his parents situations, how his dad was far away with a different family of his own, and well, I guess he never did say where his mom was.

I was slowly starting to realize that their could be another side of the Zach I thought I knew.

But then again, I barely know anything about the side of Zach I thought I knew.

I couldn't just sit in silence, pretending like I didn't see anything.

"Zach, please," I pleaded, my voice barely above a whisper. "Just tell me what happened."

I saw his hands grip the steering wheel harder, as well as his whole body slightly tense again.

Several seconds past, but they felt like hours. Right as I opened my mouth to plead him again, he stated, "Listen Cammie, I don't want you to worry about me. I'm fine, I always am."

I realized that arguing with Zach was pointless. If Zach didn't want to tell you something, he wouldn't.

"Why can't you tell me the truth, Zach?" I tried making eye contact, but he kept his eyes on the road.

"It's better that way."

We both were again enveloped in silence.

But why was it better? What was he hiding? I know everyone has secrets, and I know that some things should be left dead and gone, believe me, I'm aware of that.

But it's different when it comes to Zach. Things are always different when it comes to him.

"Zach?" I questioned, fidgeting with a piece of loose string from DeeDee's smooth Prada dress.

"Cammie?"

My eyes narrowed at him, "Can you promise me something?"

"Depends."

"Promise me," I started, watching him put the truck in park as we pulled up in my driveway. "Promise me you'll be okay."

His eyes met mine as somehow his fingers grazed mine, and his hand stopped. I could feel the heat radiating from it as he nodded, "I promise."

I wanted to question and plead him some more, but I didn't, and I wanted to act like I understood his pain and hug him, but I wouldn't.

I grabbed the handle of the door, slightly pushing it open noticing his radio said the time was 7:52.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay in here until they get here?" Zach questioned, his voice was laced with concern and something I couldn't quite catch.

"Thanks but my mother..." I didn't really know how to phrase it to him. I didn't know if he would understand that my mother really wasn't that nice and caring lady that she would pretend to be. "She wouldn't really be happy knowing I was taken home by a boy."

She would have a melt down if she saw me being brought home from a party by anyone other than Josh. Even though Josh and I were over.

Knowing that I still had to officially break up with Josh, and had to deal with him made my stomach drop. I couldn't even stand the thought of him.

Zach nodded, "I get it."

"Besides, she'll be back any minute now."

He nodded again, he flashed me a faint half smile, "I'll see you soon."

I half heartedly smiled back, "Bye, Zach."

With that, I watched him pull out of my driveway, taking the reassurance and refreshment I had found with him.

The sun was completely up and shinning, and it had to be around eight o' clock.

I took a seat on one of the concrete steps leading to our door. I would just have to wait probably a few more minutes for my mother to come back.

At Zach's house, I washed off the make up and brushed my hair up into a bun. I was still wearing DeeDee's Prada dress with her pink and white Marc Jacobs heels from her birthday, maybe it'll be decent enough for my mother.

Or maybe not.

It surprised me how little I cared for what my mother thought of me at the moment when my mind was busy worrying and wondering about Zach.

I was lost in thought, thinking about DeeDee and Josh.

How would I even approach that situation? How could I even address my best friend and boyfriend backstabbing me?

Well, I guess now ex-best friend and ex-boyfriend.

Before I could even make up some solution, I saw a woman stand in from of me with two suit cases by her side and a sloppy grin on her face.

"Long time no see, Squirt."

****  
**A/N: Where do I even begin? It has probably been more than a year since I've updated...well, eight months.**

** I don't really want to write my long excuse, but just know that I was going through something and that now I'll be updating and hopefully completing Perfection by the end of summer.**

**All chapters are being edited. So far chapters one and twelve have been edited and changed a bit, and once I get around to the others you'll see minor and major changes.**

**Please don't give up on this story completely, I will be updating!**

**So, what did you think? Review?**


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